Quotes Filed Under "Welcome to the south"


that's how you know you're in georgia

-50 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

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we've come so far

132 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

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down into the pit with the lions

34 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

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jill was terrified when she saw it. "bubba can't see this," she screamed.

20 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

    Car parked in intramural fields. Incase you can't read it, its says "White trash lover" (notice the condoms on the rack). Looks like someone pissed the wrong girl off.

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oh crap... i hear banjos!

161 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

    Professor: Last wednesday we discussed what a good argument would be for believing that Obama will succeed in office, today it will be the opposite.



    (Professor waits for hands to go up)



    Redneck: (eventually raising his hand) Well... he is black.



    (The entire class looks at him)



    Redneck: I'm only kidding, for Christ's sake, I was gonna vote for him if he wasn't a liberal... and a Muslim communist extremist.

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his odds improve the further south he goes

130 [+ / -]     Jan 12, 2009

    Old guy: So is this your boyfriend?



    Girl: No. This is my best friend.



    Guy: Yeah. She's like my cousin. And I only say cousin because there's still that chance we could fuck.

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does that mean she was naughty or nice?

56 [+ / -]     Jan 03, 2009

    (three days before Christmas)



    Redneck shopper: I'm going to get Madison a whoopee cushion and some spray cheese.

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what if jesus keeps it red forever?

174 [+ / -]     Dec 11, 2008

    (At a stop light on Broad St)



    Christian Advocate: (runs up to a car) May I speak to you about our lord Jesus Christ?



    Guy in Car: You got until this light turns green to convert me. Go!

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we're cool with that as long as that guy isn't there

-3 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2008

    Standing outside of the stadium at the vandy game.

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stereotype confirmed

63 [+ / -]     Sep 27, 2008

    Georgia Fan: Are you guys, like, cousins?



    Alabama Guy and Girl: How'd you know!?

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pick me! pick me! huh? what do you mean there's no one there? stupid mask.

1 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

    Apparently, Walmart had a little "fair" that featured wrestling. This guy is wearing a dollar store wrestling championship belt and an awesome mask.

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and he only drinks the champagne of beers

34 [+ / -]     Sep 16, 2008

    Brunette girl: She called my dad a redneck!



    Redhead girl: Well, is he a redneck?



    Brunette girl: Oh, no! He is so far from a redneck. He watches Formula 1, not NASCAR.

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cue the banjo

107 [+ / -]     Sep 15, 2008

    (Boyfriend and Girlfriend are arguing over who will pay for dinner)



    Waitress: So... are you two brother and sister?



    Boyfriend: Brother and sister with benefits.

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he's buying a copy of usa yesterday

23 [+ / -]     Jul 31, 2008

    This man is obviously waiting for the news that the south is gonna rise again.

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dammit earl, why does fido always get the front seat?

59 [+ / -]     Jun 09, 2008

    I snapped this while some friends and I were stuck in traffic on 316. You can't tell by this picture but she had a cigarette in one hand and was texting on her phone in the other.

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probably not too far from the truth

232 [+ / -]     May 23, 2008

    Professor: What does it say at the beginning of the Georgia Constitution?



    Student: Listen up, y'all.

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a game the whole family can play

-21 [+ / -]     May 20, 2008

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oxford, khaki, penny loafer, and button-down: the four horsemen of the pimpocalypse

-5 [+ / -]     May 19, 2008

    four bible thumpers preaching about the end of the world in the middle of broad street downtown. it's hard to read, but the sign says "drunkenness is sin."

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if they touch, they might both disappear

52 [+ / -]     May 11, 2008

    Sorostitute: So she was just like, "Hey, I'm just gonna warn you. I know you're a Republican and that guy is gay... so be careful."

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except that the blood wine thing would get him crazy DUIs

15 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

    Bumper sticker on someone's jeep.

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it must be summertime in athens

-8 [+ / -]     May 08, 2008

    pbr, cheap red wine, vodka soaked watermelon

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it was love at first sight

28 [+ / -]     May 05, 2008

    Portable guest bedrooms?

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9/10 biblical scholars agree. the 10th is from alabama.

57 [+ / -]     May 04, 2008

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ah, the fine southern art of airbrushing

13 [+ / -]     May 03, 2008

    On the back of a huge white van driven by an old man wearing overalls.

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a new approach for the drivers of serial killer vans

25 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

    there's no telling who's locked up in the back of it

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#22   marketing 101: it's always better to have a diversified sales portfolio

71 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

    Sign seen on Cherokee Rd. a few months back leading to some mobile homes

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"...i'm a sucker for butterscotch"

-23 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

    Girl 1: I love the Pope!



    Girl 2: Wait, I thought you hated Catholics?



    Girl 1: I do, but I love cute little old men.

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h8n mstrb8n was too long

23 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

    A license plate from a right winger

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9 out of 10 statisticians agree. the 10th one died.

42 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

    Tate Preacher: Death is the number one killer of all people. Ten out of ten people will die.

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any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

113 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

    (At breakfast)



    UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

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still waiting for the spaceship with her newest husband

-28 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

    Sorostitute: I finally figured out how many times I have to get married to beat the family record.



    Girl: So? How many?



    Sorostitute: I have to beat 3.



    Girl: Wow, really?



    Sorostitute: Yeah, but they don't really count. She was in a cult.

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have you accepted mel gibson as your lord and savior?

-34 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

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not to brag or anything

-3 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2008

    Old Jewish Man: It only cost 5 million dollars!

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can we go to a church with a tv?

127 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2008

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and the exchange rate sucks

76 [+ / -]     Mar 14, 2008

    Asian Chick: (shivering) I forget how fucking cold it is in America!



    Girl: Really? Where are you from?



    Asian Chick: Texas.

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monday is fair game

100 [+ / -]     Mar 03, 2008

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and do your math homework

257 [+ / -]     Feb 21, 2008

    Brother Micah: Just remember, life can be so much easier if you just trust in these four words... "read your bible!"

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"...c'mere grandma, you're about to get run over by a reindeer"

-39 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2008

    Fratty 1: I took shots of whiskey with my mom and grandma on Christmas Eve.



    Fratty 2: Dude, did you hook up with them?

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crustacean fetishes are apparently more popular than once thought

17 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2008

    (Waitress brings plate of crawfish to Girl)



    Waitress: Do you want me to show you how to eat it?



    Girl: Sure...



    Waitress: You rip it in half, grab the meat from the tail, then you suck the head.



    Guy: That's what she said!

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when i say church, you say state

124 [+ / -]     Feb 11, 2008

    Professor: Any questions?



    (class is silent)



    Professor: Praise the Lord.



    (class is silent)



    Professor: When I say Praise the Lord, you say Hallelujah.



    Class: Hallelujah!

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this is the south, after all

-17 [+ / -]     Jan 24, 2008

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no, but several priests have

-35 [+ / -]     Jan 21, 2008

    Jesus freak: Has Jesus revealed himself to you tonight, ladies?



    Girl 1: Hell yes!



    Girl 2: Christ... that was funny.

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we beg to differ

101 [+ / -]     Dec 25, 2007

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just wear the flip flops

111 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2007

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if you really loved me you'd have taken me to piccadilly

139 [+ / -]     Dec 10, 2007

    Girlfriend: You never take me anywhere nice.



    Boyfriend: What are you talking about? I took you to Raising Cane's like an hour ago!

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they don't call them spirits for nothing

58 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2007

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make a fool out of himself in public?

-53 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2007

    Tate preacher: So when y'all are looking at your pornography or smoking a joint or getting wasted, you aren't going to be thinking "What Would Jesus Do." So instead of WWJD, I want you to think WWMD, for "What Would Micah Do?"

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because the olive garden is black tie only

79 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2007

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accent is right next to race in the genome

-4 [+ / -]     Nov 05, 2007

    Guy: Dude, did you know they have black people in England?



    Sorostitute: No way! How do they talk?

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can't argue that

127 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2007

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white trash math: the transitive property of unemployment

39 [+ / -]     Sep 26, 2007

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just try to imagine that conversation

184 [+ / -]     Sep 06, 2007

    Girl 1: So I hooked up with this really hot guy this weekend.



    Girl 2: Awesome!



    Girl 1: Well yeah, it was, but I think I might be related to him. So I have to call my mom tonight and find out.

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at least she likes mexican food

127 [+ / -]     Sep 03, 2007

    Southern sorostitute: This year, on Cinco de Mayo, I had to take the SAT the next day, so I couldn't actually party on Cinco de Mayo. So because I couldn't party on Cinco de Mayo, my friends threw me a party on Cinco de Six!

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if you can't beat 'em... berate 'em

135 [+ / -]     Aug 27, 2007

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