translation: "i can't read"

Redneck 2: Well, thats okay.



Redneck 1: I know, I'm good at that oratory shit... see that's what I learned earlier, I'm good at that oratory shit.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Redneck 1: Well, you know I went to college, but I couldn't write the papers.



Redneck 2: Well, thats okay.



Redneck 1: I know, I'm good at that oratory shit... see that's what I learned earlier, I'm good at that oratory shit.

@ The corner of Broad and College
Taken by: judgemental_bastard (102)
Filed Under Downtown | Welcome to the south

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i doubt anyone will get their photo taken sitting on top of him

I took this photo because this dude was standing where the bulldog statue normally sits, but after I took it I realized he was flicking off the Mormons standing at the Arch across the street.

@ Broad St and College Ave, outside Starbucks
Taken by: ash
Filed Under Downtown | Welcome to the south

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i'll take some cheetos, a pack of smokes, and an assault rifle

@ athens
Taken by: len
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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and they say we southerners are closed minded

Redneck in Camo 1: What's the difference between these soft tacos and these hard tacos?



Server: I don't understand.



Redneck in Camo 2: The hard ones are like, real tacos, and the soft ones are the real Mexican shit.



Redneck in Camo 1: Hell, I'll have one'a each. Git somma dat real shit, heh heh!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Server: Do you know what you'd like?



Redneck in Camo 1: What's the difference between these soft tacos and these hard tacos?



Server: I don't understand.



Redneck in Camo 2: The hard ones are like, real tacos, and the soft ones are the real Mexican shit.



Redneck in Camo 1: Hell, I'll have one'a each. Git somma dat real shit, heh heh!

@ La Estrella
Taken by: James
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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that's how you know you're in georgia

Guy: Kinky.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(A girl is giving another girl a piggyback ride)



Guy: Ew, look at those lesbians.



Girl: Yeah, and we're sisters, too.



Guy: Kinky.

@ downtown
Taken by: confused
Filed Under Downtown | Hooking up | Welcome to the south

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we've come so far

Sober Black Girl: (looks at her skin) Oh, really? Oh, shit! Look at that, I am black! News to me.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Drunk sorostitute: Hey guys, this is my friend! She's black!



Sober Black Girl: (looks at her skin) Oh, really? Oh, shit! Look at that, I am black! News to me.

@ party at riverbend apts
Taken by: Loki
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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down into the pit with the lions

Sorostitute: I'll give you twenty dollars to push him!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(Young student is standing on top of the stairs on Baldwin St. preaching the Bible)



Sorostitute: What is that guy doing up there?



Fratty: Oh he's just one of those God freaks.



Sorostitute: I'll give you twenty dollars to push him!

@ Baldwin St Cross Walk
Taken by: LT
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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jill was terrified when she saw it. "bubba can't see this," she screamed.

Car parked in intramural fields. Incase you can't read it, its says "White trash lover" (notice the condoms on the rack). Looks like someone pissed the wrong girl off.

@ intramural fields
Taken by: TMC
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Pwn!

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oh crap... i hear banjos!

Professor: Last wednesday we discussed what a good argument would be for believing that Obama will succeed in office, today it will be the opposite.



(Professor waits for hands to go up)



Redneck: (eventually raising his hand) Well... he is black.



(The entire class looks at him)



Redneck: I'm only kidding, for Christ's sake, I was gonna vote for him if he wasn't a liberal... and a Muslim communist extremist.

@ Peabody Hall
Taken by: Solitary Man
Caption by: Trucker (142)
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Pwn! | In class

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his odds improve the further south he goes

Old guy: So is this your boyfriend?



Girl: No. This is my best friend.



Guy: Yeah. She's like my cousin. And I only say cousin because there's still that chance we could fuck.

@ Village Idiot
Taken by: seriously?
Filed Under Hooking up | Welcome to the south

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does that mean she was naughty or nice?

(three days before Christmas)



Redneck shopper: I'm going to get Madison a whoopee cushion and some spray cheese.

@ Dollar General at Homewood Hills
Taken by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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what if jesus keeps it red forever?

(At a stop light on Broad St)



Christian Advocate: (runs up to a car) May I speak to you about our lord Jesus Christ?



Guy in Car: You got until this light turns green to convert me. Go!

@ Stoplight on Broad
Taken by: philipftw (15)
Filed Under In the car | Welcome to the south

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we're cool with that as long as that guy isn't there

Standing outside of the stadium at the vandy game.

@ stadium
Taken by: football
Filed Under Football | Welcome to the south

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stereotype confirmed

Georgia Fan: Are you guys, like, cousins?



Alabama Guy and Girl: How'd you know!?

@ Psych-Journalism
Taken by: faggot-american
Filed Under Football | Welcome to the south

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pick me! pick me! huh? what do you mean there's no one there? stupid mask.

Apparently, Walmart had a little "fair" that featured wrestling. This guy is wearing a dollar store wrestling championship belt and an awesome mask.

@ Walmart on Epps Bridge
Taken by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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and he only drinks the champagne of beers

Brunette girl: She called my dad a redneck!



Redhead girl: Well, is he a redneck?



Brunette girl: Oh, no! He is so far from a redneck. He watches Formula 1, not NASCAR.

@ Warnell
Taken by: Bellige
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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cue the banjo

(Boyfriend and Girlfriend are arguing over who will pay for dinner)



Waitress: So... are you two brother and sister?



Boyfriend: Brother and sister with benefits.

@ Chili's
Taken by: friend
Caption by: Springdalien (212)
Filed Under Ew. | Welcome to the south

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he's buying a copy of usa yesterday

This man is obviously waiting for the news that the south is gonna rise again.

@ Pancake House off Prince
Taken by: SouthernDlite (128)
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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dammit earl, why does fido always get the front seat?

I snapped this while some friends and I were stuck in traffic on 316. You can't tell by this picture but she had a cigarette in one hand and was texting on her phone in the other.

@ 316
Taken by: B
Filed Under In the car | 316 | Welcome to the south

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probably not too far from the truth

Professor: What does it say at the beginning of the Georgia Constitution?



Student: Listen up, y'all.

@ SLC
Taken by: Joe
Filed Under In class | Welcome to the south

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a game the whole family can play

blood, or anything. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Young Hippie Girl: I just found out my 15 year old cousin is pregnant.



Older Hippie Guy: Yeah? My brother and sister just had a baby.



(Pause)



Older Hippie Guy: I mean, it was adopted so it's not like, you know, blood, or anything.

@ Earth Fare
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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oxford, khaki, penny loafer, and button-down: the four horsemen of the pimpocalypse

four bible thumpers preaching about the end of the world in the middle of broad street downtown. it's hard to read, but the sign says "drunkenness is sin."

@ corner of broad and college
Taken by: j
Filed Under Downtown | Welcome to the south

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if they touch, they might both disappear

Sorostitute: So she was just like, "Hey, I'm just gonna warn you. I know you're a Republican and that guy is gay... so be careful."

@ downtown
Taken by: yes
Filed Under Gay | One-liners | Welcome to the south

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except that the blood wine thing would get him crazy DUIs

Bumper sticker on someone's jeep.

@ Stevi B's
Taken by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under In the car | Welcome to the south

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it must be summertime in athens

pbr, cheap red wine, vodka soaked watermelon

@ sps
Taken by: southpope (15)
Filed Under Drinking | Welcome to the south

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it was love at first sight

Portable guest bedrooms?

@ off Barber Street
Taken by: SouthernDlite (128)
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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9/10 biblical scholars agree. the 10th is from alabama.

Girlfriend: Jesus didn't have a mullet!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girlfriend: You need a haircut.



Boyfriend: Jesus didn't need haircuts.



Girlfriend: Jesus didn't have a mullet!

@ Baxter Street
Taken by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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ah, the fine southern art of airbrushing

On the back of a huge white van driven by an old man wearing overalls.

@ Chase St.
Taken by: The Great American
Filed Under In the car | Welcome to the south

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a new approach for the drivers of serial killer vans

there's no telling who's locked up in the back of it

@ downtown
Taken by: hoke
Filed Under Downtown | In class | Welcome to the south

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marketing 101: it's always better to have a diversified sales portfolio

Sign seen on Cherokee Rd. a few months back leading to some mobile homes

@ Cherokee Rd.
Taken by: uno's girl
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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"...i'm a sucker for butterscotch"

Girl 1: I love the Pope!



Girl 2: Wait, I thought you hated Catholics?



Girl 1: I do, but I love cute little old men.

@ O-house dining hall
Taken by: marajade (156)
Caption by: blace (30)
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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h8n mstrb8n was too long

A license plate from a right winger

@ Movie theatre parking lot - Athens
Taken by: cwesch (91)
Filed Under In the car | Welcome to the south

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9 out of 10 statisticians agree. the 10th one died.

Tate Preacher: Death is the number one killer of all people. Ten out of ten people will die.

@ Tate
Taken by: jenrose (15)
Filed Under One-liners | Street Preacher | Welcome to the south

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any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

(At breakfast)



UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

@ The Mayflower
Taken by: anon
Filed Under Lost in translation | One-liners | Welcome to the south

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still waiting for the spaceship with her newest husband

Sorostitute: I finally figured out how many times I have to get married to beat the family record.



Girl: So? How many?



Sorostitute: I have to beat 3.



Girl: Wow, really?



Sorostitute: Yeah, but they don't really count. She was in a cult.

@ ceda sho'
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Hooking up | Welcome to the south

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have you accepted mel gibson as your lord and savior?

not going to Heaven.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl: Have you ever seen The Passion of the Christ?



Guy: No.



Girl: You're not going to Heaven.

@ Orbit Bus
Taken by: Elizabeth
Caption by: Dolphus (85)
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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not to brag or anything

Old Jewish Man: It only cost 5 million dollars!

@ on the street
Taken by: Ashley Rogers
Filed Under One-liners | Welcome to the south

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can we go to a church with a tv?

Catholic Girl: Excuse me?!



Catholic Guy: What? I like Jesus, too. He's just more understanding.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Catholic Guy: I'm missing UGA in the SEC championship basketball finals to come to church right now. You better be glad I like you.



Catholic Girl: Excuse me?!



Catholic Guy: What? I like Jesus, too. He's just more understanding.

@ UGA Catholic Center
Taken by: PLR
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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and the exchange rate sucks

Asian Chick: (shivering) I forget how fucking cold it is in America!



Girl: Really? Where are you from?



Asian Chick: Texas.

@ Downtown
Taken by: Salta
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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monday is fair game

Redneck Son: I'm gonna kill you!



Redneck Mother: No killins on Sunday.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Redneck Father: I'm leavin' you.



Redneck Son: I'm gonna kill you!



Redneck Mother: No killins on Sunday.

@ Target
Taken by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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and do your math homework

Brother Micah: Just remember, life can be so much easier if you just trust in these four words... "read your bible!"

@ Tate
Taken by: Snoopy
Filed Under Dumbass | Street Preacher | Welcome to the south

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"...c'mere grandma, you're about to get run over by a reindeer"

Fratty 1: I took shots of whiskey with my mom and grandma on Christmas Eve.



Fratty 2: Dude, did you hook up with them?

@ Dining Hall
Taken by: Anon
Filed Under Drinking | Ew. | Hooking up | Welcome to the south

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crustacean fetishes are apparently more popular than once thought

(Waitress brings plate of crawfish to Girl)



Waitress: Do you want me to show you how to eat it?



Girl: Sure...



Waitress: You rip it in half, grab the meat from the tail, then you suck the head.



Guy: That's what she said!

@ Fountaine's Oyster Bar
Taken by: Wheezy
Filed Under At work | Ew. | Welcome to the south

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when i say church, you say state

Professor: Any questions?



(class is silent)



Professor: Praise the Lord.



(class is silent)



Professor: When I say Praise the Lord, you say Hallelujah.



Class: Hallelujah!

@ Cell Biology Lecture
Taken by: Science Major
Filed Under Welcome to the south | In class

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this is the south, after all

Sorostitute 2: I don't think you should marry someone you consider your cousin.



Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I know. Fuck it, I'll still marry him!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute 1: I'm having lunch with my god-cousin tomorrow. I absolutely love him, he is so awesome! I seriously hope I marry him.



Sorostitute 2: I don't think you should marry someone you consider your cousin.



Sorostitute 1: Yeah, I know. Fuck it, I'll still marry him!

@ n/a
Taken by: Oobalo
Filed Under Ew. | Welcome to the south

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no, but several priests have

Jesus freak: Has Jesus revealed himself to you tonight, ladies?



Girl 1: Hell yes!



Girl 2: Christ... that was funny.

@ Downtown
Taken by: -------
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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we beg to differ

Trashy lady 2: Then why does he come around my trailer at night lookin' for the care of a good woman?



Trashy lady 1: Oh hush, Shelly, he's your brother.



Trashy lady 2: A good woman is a good woman, sister don't make no difference.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Trashy lady 1: Now I'm a good woman, and that's why I give my husband everything he wants Christmas night.



Trashy lady 2: Then why does he come around my trailer at night lookin' for the care of a good woman?



Trashy lady 1: Oh hush, Shelly, he's your brother.



Trashy lady 2: A good woman is a good woman, sister don't make no difference.

@ Eastside Walmart
Taken by: Ben
Filed Under Hooking up | Ew. | Welcome to the south

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just wear the flip flops

Guy: Did you wear them in?



Girl: No.



Guy: Did you walk around the store in them?



Girl: No.



Guy: Did you try them on?



Girl: No, I just said, "mommy these are cute," and she bought them.



Guy: This is going to be a long night.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl: I can't hardly walk in these shoes.



Guy: Did you wear them in?



Girl: No.



Guy: Did you walk around the store in them?



Girl: No.



Guy: Did you try them on?



Girl: No, I just said, "mommy these are cute," and she bought them.



Guy: This is going to be a long night.

@ Walking from the Classic Center to JR's
Taken by: Rubber-band-tan
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Pwn!

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if you really loved me you'd have taken me to piccadilly

Girlfriend: You never take me anywhere nice.



Boyfriend: What are you talking about? I took you to Raising Cane's like an hour ago!

@ River Mill
Taken by: Brent Spotswood
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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they don't call them spirits for nothing

Eavesdropping guy: Yeah! Like Santa!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl: (complaining about not selling alcohol on Sunday) If it's a religious thing, you're not fooling anyone if you drink every other day. Jesus sees seven days a week.



Eavesdropping guy: Yeah! Like Santa!

@ Five Points Bottle Shop West
Taken by: ljm
Filed Under Drinking | Welcome to the south

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make a fool out of himself in public?

Tate preacher: So when y'all are looking at your pornography or smoking a joint or getting wasted, you aren't going to be thinking "What Would Jesus Do." So instead of WWJD, I want you to think WWMD, for "What Would Micah Do?"

@ Tate Plaza
Taken by: Anonymous
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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because the olive garden is black tie only

(pause)



Girl on cell: Oh, well, that's true... I mean, it's not like you are going to the Olive Garden or anything.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl on cell: You're wearing what? Overalls? Honey, you can't wear overalls to dinner with your family!



(pause)



Girl on cell: Oh, well, that's true... I mean, it's not like you are going to the Olive Garden or anything.

@ my car
Taken by: Kate
Filed Under Welcome to the south | On the phone | Lost in translation

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accent is right next to race in the genome

Guy: Dude, did you know they have black people in England?



Sorostitute: No way! How do they talk?

@ walking downtown
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Lost in translation | Dumbass | Welcome to the south

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can't argue that

Tate preacher: Why don't you tell me what's so good about homosexuality?



Girl: Multiple orgasms!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Tate preacher: Homosexuality is a sin!



Girl in crowd: What's so bad about homosexuality?



Tate preacher: Why don't you tell me what's so good about homosexuality?



Girl: Multiple orgasms!

@ tate center
Taken by: ted
Filed Under Hooking up | Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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white trash math: the transitive property of unemployment

Loan officer: What does your wife do?



Redneck: She works for me!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Loan officer: Who is your current employer?



Redneck: I don't have a job right now.



Loan officer: What does your wife do?



Redneck: She works for me!

@ bank on eastside
Taken by: purlgirl
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Pwn! | Lost in translation | At work | Wtf?

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just try to imagine that conversation

Girl 1: So I hooked up with this really hot guy this weekend.



Girl 2: Awesome!



Girl 1: Well yeah, it was, but I think I might be related to him. So I have to call my mom tonight and find out.

@ Bio Lab
Taken by: bariati
Filed Under Ew. | Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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at least she likes mexican food

Southern sorostitute: This year, on Cinco de Mayo, I had to take the SAT the next day, so I couldn't actually party on Cinco de Mayo. So because I couldn't party on Cinco de Mayo, my friends threw me a party on Cinco de Six!

@ Snelling
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | Greek Life | Welcome to the south

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if you can't beat 'em... berate 'em

Tate Preacher: Brother Micah.



Guy: Well let's skip the formal stuff, I'm gonna call you "captain asshole," is that OK?



(Tate Preacher looks frustrated and gets off stage)' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy: (to Tate Preacher) What's your name, buddy?



Tate Preacher: Brother Micah.



Guy: Well let's skip the formal stuff, I'm gonna call you "captain asshole," is that OK?



(Tate Preacher looks frustrated and gets off stage)

@ Tate Center
Taken by: MK
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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the mexicans just don't have the same charm

(Passing the fraternity / sorority houses)



Girl: These houses are so beautiful



Guy: You mean the frat houses?



Girl: Well, you know, they were pretty back in the days where the black people were always working in the front yard.

@ Milledge Ave Bus
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf? | The bus

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excuse me waiter, but there's a white boy in my soup

Ghetto girl: What about them croutons? You want them in there?



Ghetto guy: What's a crouton?!



Ghetto girl: It's like a cracker! A cracker in yo salad!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Ghetto guy: I don't want none of those cucumbers in the salad.



Ghetto girl: What about them croutons? You want them in there?



Ghetto guy: What's a crouton?!



Ghetto girl: It's like a cracker! A cracker in yo salad!

@ Longhorn
Taken by: server
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Lost in translation

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what would jesus do... to cure a hangover?

(On a saturday night at a local restaurant)



Couple 1: Hey hows it going?



Couple 2: You know, just getting a little drunk at dinner tonight.



Couple 1: Yeah, we are too.



Couple 2: So we'll see y'all at sunday school in the morning right?

@ The Lob
Taken by: ?
Filed Under Drinking | Welcome to the south

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she thinks we're still british

Lindsey: Well how the hell was I supposed to know?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: Then we crossed the Mississippi state line and it was really funny because I told Lindsey, "Yeah, it's really awkward here because they still own slaves."



Lindsey: Well how the hell was I supposed to know?

@ Brumby Lobby
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | Welcome to the south

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future sunday school teachers

Drunk guy 2: You say, "God, I'm drunk, I can't go to church."



Drunk girl: Jesus loves every one, no matter what they do!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Drunk girl: I have to go in a little bit, I have to go to church.



Drunk guy 1: That's the best excuse for leaving I've heard all night! What do you say to God?



Drunk guy 2: You say, "God, I'm drunk, I can't go to church."



Drunk girl: Jesus loves every one, no matter what they do!

@ university commons
Taken by: sparkles.
Filed Under Wtf? | Welcome to the south | Drinking

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is that code for hot fudge sunday?

White trash wife: You want an Orange Julius?



White trash husband: You want a black eye?

@ Dairy Queen
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Pwn! | Welcome to the south

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...and if we're talking really high-class, target

' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
City fratty: So what do you do up in the hills when you go out?



Redneck fratty: Go to the battlefield, downtown, something like that. Maybe Wal-mart.



City fratty: Wow... Wal-mart?



Redneck fratty: Umm hell yea? But that’s only if they’re lucky. But that's more of an upscale date... I mean hell, it’s indoors.

@ Milledge Bus
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Welcome to the south

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chihuahua : regular dog :: gazelle : crocodile

Vet Tech: Can I help you?



Redneck: Well, I got my chihuahua Taco here, and, well, she thought it might be a good idea to pick a fight with my regualar dog



Vet Tech: So, what exactly seems to be the problem?



Redneck: I think she might need some stitches. In her head.

@ Athens Animal Hospital
Taken by: Ethan
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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you should try everything once (except that and country line dancing)

Sorostitute: Yeah, I kinda want to give it to my brother.

' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy: (looking at sorostitute's Facebook profile) You know you still have your gift to give out... and there's a cherry.



Sorostitute: Yeah, I kinda want to give it to my brother.

@ SLC
Taken by: Chad
Filed Under Greek Life | Facebook | Welcome to the south | Ew.

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Thank God we're in the South and not South Central

Two Indie kids standing on a front porch.



Old black lady: (driving by in car) God bless you! God bless you!



Indie Kid 1: (to Indie Kid 2) Was that just a drive-by proselytizing?

@ peter st.
Taken by: david gilmour
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Wtf?

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how it really goes down in middle georgia

Guy 2: Wait, does that mean you gotta stop in the middle of it and make out with your sister?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy 1: Dude, you're about to receive a middle georgia style ass whoopin'.



Guy 2: Wait, does that mean you gotta stop in the middle of it and make out with your sister?

@ Their House
Taken by: Cryptachronacondelight
Filed Under Ew. | Welcome to the south

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i bet she keeps her salt and sugar in the same jar, too

Guy: Well, whites and colors just happens to be a convenient division.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy: I usually just have two loads of laundry, one of whites, one of colors.



Girl: Well aren't you something, I wash my whites and colors together, because I'm not racist. I don't see whites and colors, I just see clothes.



Guy: Well, whites and colors just happens to be a convenient division.

@ East Campus
Taken by: Anonymous
Filed Under Welcome to the south | Dorm life

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diversity awareness

Indian teacher: So in your journal, write about an important event in your life. For example, I wrote mine about the first time I met a white person. I was about 10 years old.



Redneck guy: Dear diary, today I met a honkey.

@ MCAT Class
Taken by: bigjohnson
Filed Under Welcome to the south | In class

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hopefully he won't spend the 1.8 dollars all in one place

Redneck 1: I just left 20 pesos on the table for a tip.



Redneck 2: Are you serious?



Redneck 1: Fuck yeah man.

@ Parking Lot
Taken by: poolboy
Filed Under Dumbass | Welcome to the south

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out west, there is nothing between you and the horizon but dumb, dumb, and more dumb

Sorostitute: Me and my roommates got into a fight last night. They tried to tell me that Delaware was a state.



Classmate: Delaware is a state...



Sorostitute: Oh, well I don't care about those western states anyways.

@ Chemistry Class
Taken by: Nicole
Filed Under Greek Life | Dumbass | Welcome to the south

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