or just start doing coke

Girl 2: Well, alcohol slows down the fat burning process.



(pause)



Girl 2: So we'll have to cut something else.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: I need to lose weight, let's start exercising.



Girl 2: Well, alcohol slows down the fat burning process.



(pause)



Girl 2: So we'll have to cut something else.

@ slc
Taken by: mb
Filed Under Drinking | SLC

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sounds like "i didn't inhale" to me

Girl 2: What? They didn't have sex? Why?



Girl 1: I don't know, they were lying naked under the blanket together. It was cute. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: Yeah, she told me that they hooked up but they didn't have sex.



Girl 2: What? They didn't have sex? Why?



Girl 1: I don't know, they were lying naked under the blanket together. It was cute.

@ Near MLC
Taken by: Keep Walking
Filed Under Hooking up | SLC

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yet you can't touch the dancers... what a double standard

Girl: I was at Toppers last night and the stripper totally stuck her hand down my shirt and starting playing with my nipple.



Friend: Wow.



Girl: Yeah, and this other one totally pulled down another girl's shirt and started licking her boobs.

@ SLC
Taken by: Disturbed
Filed Under SLC

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did that leaf just crawl across the floor?

Guy: So what do you have next?



Girl: Horticulture.



Guy: Oh yeah, the class about bugs.

@ 2nd Floor SLC
Taken by: chyea
Caption by: marajade (156)
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the compromise was for her to stop calling him edward during sex

Girl 1: (referring to her boyfriend) We got in a huge fight last night.



Girl 2: What about?



Girl 1: New Moon.



(pause)



Girl 1: It was more serious than it sounds.

@ SLC
Taken by: Team Edwob
Filed Under SLC

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i'd say the odds of that are pretty slim

Punk Guy: I got seven tails and three heads.



Professor: So as you can see, the coin was biased.



Punk Guy: Nah, it's just because I love tail.



Sorostitute: Does that mean you don't love head?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Professor: So now we're going to learn about probability. You, flip this coin and tell me your results.



Punk Guy: I got seven tails and three heads.



Professor: So as you can see, the coin was biased.



Punk Guy: Nah, it's just because I love tail.



Sorostitute: Does that mean you don't love head?

@ SLC
Taken by: Renu
Filed Under SLC | In class

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there's an s on her chest for a reason... and it's brown!

Girl 1: I have to go to bathroom.



Girl 2: You know, since I have gotten comfortable taking shits in Payne Hall, I can shit anywhere. I feel invincible.



Girl 1: Really...

@ SLC/MLC
Taken by: Brandon
Caption by: Trucker (142)
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followed by a siesta

(silence)



Professor: If it looks like a sombrero then it's right side out



(silence)



Professor: So, remember, if it looks like a sombrero your ready for a fiesta! ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(Professor is talking about the "10 steps" to putting on a condom)



Professor: Do you guys know how to tell if it's inside out?



(silence)



Professor: If it looks like a sombrero then it's right side out



(silence)



Professor: So, remember, if it looks like a sombrero your ready for a fiesta!

@ SLC
Taken by: ohemgee
Filed Under Ew. | In class | SLC

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my big fat greek lack of a decent education

Girl 1: Oh my gosh! Look how pretty her skin is!



Girl 2: Yeah! She looks like she's a straight-out-of-Greece Italian.

@ SLC
Taken by: Phoenix (15)
Filed Under SLC

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going down?

(In the SLC elevator)



(Fratty 1 hiccups)



(pause)



Fratty 2: Dude, that's so gay.

@ SLC
Taken by: gaga romance
Filed Under SLC

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also, wrong wallace

Professor: No, sorry, not in this class.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(In US History Post 1865)



Professor: Can anyone tell me who George Wallace is?



Sorostitute: He's that character from Braveheart!



Professor: No, sorry, not in this class.

@ SLC Classroom
Taken by: Anonymous
Filed Under In class | SLC

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don't forget about all the free condoms

Professor: Apparently, all you guys do is make-out and get wasted all the time because you're college students. Which is why the university puts hand sanitizer everywhere and obsessively cleans.

@ SLC
Taken by: Kat (215)
Filed Under In class | SLC

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that one was easy! i hope it's on the final!

Professor: What would happen if you picked up a fresh cow patty?



Girl: You'd get shit on your hands?

@ SLC
Taken by: iForget
Filed Under Ew. | In class | SLC

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does it matter?

Male Professor: So, who stayed in town this weekend? Did anyone go downtown?



Student: I was downtown!



Male Professor: Sweet.



Student: Were you downtown wearing a dress?



Male Professor: What color?

@ SLC
Taken by: Student
Filed Under Downtown | In class | SLC

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furries are people, too

Girl 2: Okay, living in a huge expensive house is a lifestyle. Dressing up like a cat, and going to a parties where everyone else is a cat, and having cat orgies is not a lifestyle.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: She says it's her lifestyle.



Girl 2: Okay, living in a huge expensive house is a lifestyle. Dressing up like a cat, and going to a parties where everyone else is a cat, and having cat orgies is not a lifestyle.

@ SLC 3rd Floor
Taken by: Creeped Out in the SLC
Filed Under SLC | Wtf?

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d-i-c-t-i-o-n-a-r-y d-o-t c-o-m

Freshman Girl: Thanks. I've never had to spell that word in my life. But I guess that's the kind of stuff journalism majors have to know, huh?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Freshman Girl: (on laptop) How do you spell "caffeine?"



Freshman Guy: Hmm, I know this. Yeah, it's c-a-f-f-i-n-e.



Freshman Girl: Thanks. I've never had to spell that word in my life. But I guess that's the kind of stuff journalism majors have to know, huh?

@ ZBMLC Jittery Joe's
Taken by: Brent Spotswood
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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what if a plant has nuts?

Professor: So if this plant has berries, is it male or female?



Student: Female!



Professor: Right! Boys don't have berries.

@ SLC
Taken by: Nonnie
Filed Under In class | SLC

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must be the thin air

Girl 1: My family is legit mountain people.



Girl 2: No, my family is more! My aunt Mary Ann is the stupidest person ever. A lawn mower stopped working so she stuck her hand inside and chopped off all her fingers!

@ Walking out of the SLC
Taken by: But I like Mountain People..
Filed Under SLC

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not too loud... that's like saying "bomb" on an airplane

(Exiting SLC 102 as everyone is rushing for the door)



Guy: If there is ever a fire in here, we are screwed!



Girl: But how would a fire get started in here?



Guy: An arsonist?

@ SLC Room 102
Taken by: GADawg439 (30)
Filed Under In class | SLC

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in some countries, that means they're married now

Guy studying: Slap me some skin you sly, slicky slim jim.



Girl at the next table: Wait, what the fuck just happened?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(Fratty walking up to his friend that is studying)



Fratty: What's up homie g-dawg times 10,452?



Guy studying: Slap me some skin you sly, slicky slim jim.



Girl at the next table: Wait, what the fuck just happened?

@ slc
Taken by: Luke
Filed Under SLC | Wtf?

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made in china for your vagina!

Guest speaker: Someone give me an example of anything that is manufactured, give me anything.



Student: Sex toys!

@ SLC 250
Taken by: Tired
Caption by: CantHelpButLaugh (157)
Filed Under SLC

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tomorrow's lesson is the proper use of the pimp hand

Boy: My what?



Sorostitute: You know, your main bitch.



Boy: She's not a bitch.



Sorostitute: No, it doesn't mean she's a bitch. Just like, out of all your hoes she's the main one.



Boy: ...' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: So how's your main squeeze?



Boy: My what?



Sorostitute: You know, your main bitch.



Boy: She's not a bitch.



Sorostitute: No, it doesn't mean she's a bitch. Just like, out of all your hoes she's the main one.



Boy: ...

@ ZBMLC
Taken by: Seriously (15)
Filed Under SLC

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and he's meeting the doctor for drinks on friday

Guy 2: He said nothing was wrong. He had to check my balls, though, and... and my prostate.



Guy 1: Dude... shit... you're fucking gay now.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy 1: You had to go to a urologist? Damn, what'd he say?



Guy 2: He said nothing was wrong. He had to check my balls, though, and... and my prostate.



Guy 1: Dude... shit... you're fucking gay now.

@ 2nd floor of SLC
Taken by: Ginger7
Filed Under Gay | Pwn! | SLC

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can i get that with an extra shot of "oh no she didn't!"

(Girl 1 takes drink)



Jittery Joe's Guy: Non-fat white mocha with soy?



Girl 2: Um, I had just a regular white mocha.



Jittery Joe's Guy: Ugh, that skank took your shit! ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Jittery Joe's Guy: White mocha?



(Girl 1 takes drink)



Jittery Joe's Guy: Non-fat white mocha with soy?



Girl 2: Um, I had just a regular white mocha.



Jittery Joe's Guy: Ugh, that skank took your shit!

@ SLC
Taken by: bkuk
Caption by: marajade (156)
Filed Under At work | Jittery Joe's | SLC

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unless of course they're heroin muffins

Professor: Really the only thing that grows in Afghanistan is poppies. And there are only three things you can do with poppies - make poppy seed bagels, poppy seed muffins, and make heroin. And you aren't going to make a lot of money from the muffins.

@ SLC
Taken by: rbrent (78)
Filed Under Drugs | In class | One-liners | SLC

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we call that "opportunity management"

then quit it.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Fratty: It's not really hit it and quit it. It's more like hit it, hit it, keep hitting it for a month... then quit it.

@ SLC
Taken by: anon
Filed Under Hooking up | One-liners | SLC

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funny, i don't remember voting for him

Sorostitute: Of the United States?



Guy: No.



Sorostitute: I mean, not the current President. You know what I mean.



Guy: No, that's the President of UGA.



Sorostitute: Oh, hah. Wait, we have a President of UGA?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: Who is that guy?



Guy: Really? That's the President.



Sorostitute: Of the United States?



Guy: No.



Sorostitute: I mean, not the current President. You know what I mean.



Guy: No, that's the President of UGA.



Sorostitute: Oh, hah. Wait, we have a President of UGA?

@ SLC during tornado warning
Taken by: Lost for words
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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its sad when even professors think thursday is the weekend

Professor: It's referring to how the different organs in your body perform different functions. Your heart pumps blood and your liver helps you recover from Thursday night.

@ SLC
Taken by: Sammi (338)
Filed Under Drinking | In class | SLC

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she must have gotten up on the evil side of the bed

Girl 1: It was weird, I totally saw a less cute version of you today by the Hull Street parking deck. It was like your evil twin or something.



Girl 2: (pauses) Yeah... that was me, actually.

@ SLC
Taken by: BB
Filed Under SLC | Pwn!

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murphy says yes

Fratty: (stares) Yeah.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: Do you think that thing is going to be on the test?



Fratty: What thing?



Sorostitute: You know, that thing that wasn't in the notes and we didn't cover in class.



Fratty: (stares) Yeah.

@ SLC
Taken by: Cal (76)
Filed Under SLC | Wtf?

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we're sure he's never gotten that one before

Girl 1: Llama? With two Ls? The monk is a llama?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: Who is the Dalai Lama?



Girl 2: You don't know who the Dalai Lama is? Tibetan monk?



Girl 1: Llama? With two Ls? The monk is a llama?

@ SLC
Taken by: Kat (215)
Filed Under Lost in translation | SLC

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global warming is worse than we thought

Girl 2: What are you talking about? It's nice today.



Girl 1: Wait, didn't you used to live someplace really cold or something?



Girl 2: I'm from Kuwait.



Girl 1: Oh, that explains it!



Girl 2: (pauses) Kuwait is a desert.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: Why are you wearing a skirt, it's so cold outside!



Girl 2: What are you talking about? It's nice today.



Girl 1: Wait, didn't you used to live someplace really cold or something?



Girl 2: I'm from Kuwait.



Girl 1: Oh, that explains it!



Girl 2: (pauses) Kuwait is a desert.

@ SLC
Taken by: vi
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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but is it usb 2.0 compatible?

This is a bomb-disarming robot created for the UGA Police Department.

@ SLC Curb
Taken by: piper
Filed Under Neat | SLC

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grabbing a quick nap before class

This was taken on Sanford Dr. (behind SLC) right after the Vandy game..these two grown men were passed out

@ Sanford Dr
Taken by: AC
Filed Under Football | SLC

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fortune cookies just aren't as fun as they used to be

Found clumsily taped to the left handrail of a stairway in the SLC on campus.

@ SLC (ZMLC)
Taken by: Charles-Ryan (15)
Filed Under Neat | SLC

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thank god they installed that pregnancy test vending machine by the jittery joe's

Sorostitute 2: Yay!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(While in the SLC bathroom, Girl 1 is in a stall having a conversation with her friend who is outside the stall)



Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod, wait... yes!



Sorostitute 2: What?



Sorostitute 1: I'm not pregnant!



Sorostitute 2: Yay!

@ SLC
Taken by: kate (15)
Filed Under SLC | Wtf?

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that's the sort of conviction that launches 1000 ships

Guy: So you're just dead?



Sorostitute: Yeah, I'm just dead.



Guy: That's what I thought.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: So, I was totally, like, Helen of Troy in a past life. I was so hot I started a huge war!



Guy: So you believe in reincarnation?



Sorostitute: Well, no, I don't, so I guess I take all that back.



Guy: So you're just dead?



Sorostitute: Yeah, I'm just dead.



Guy: That's what I thought.

@ SLC
Taken by: anon
Filed Under SLC | Wtf?

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it's true what they say about too much of a good thing

(As he walks onto the elevator with a large cup of coffee)



Scenester: Adderall is killing my brain, dude... I can't even study.

@ SLC elevator
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Drugs | SLC

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have you tried the new diet medium roast?

Sorostitute: Like, is that the healthy option?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: Whole bean... is that like whole grain?



Jittery Joe's Guy: Uh...



Sorostitute: Like, is that the healthy option?

@ slc
Taken by: emmers
Filed Under Jittery Joe's | Dumbass | SLC

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but what happens if they break down?

(2 girls walking up the stairs at the SLC)



Girl: (to friend) You know, they should really invent moving stairs.

@ SLC
Taken by: stratocaster03
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners | SLC

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stick with religion

Professor: The last of the five pillars of Islam is Zakat, which says we should give 2.5% of our capital a year. So, if you make about $1,000, how much should you give away?



Student: Um... $25?



Professor: $40.



Student: No, its $25.



Professor: Trust me on this, it's $40.

@ SLC
Taken by: the bitter waitress
Filed Under In class | Pwn! | SLC

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for his sake, let's hope ass kicking is on that list

Guy: Yeah, like voting, rights, driving, and good decision making.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Guy: Every woman wants to be a man.



Girl: No, I'm happy being a girl, we get away with stuff and get out of stuff so much easier!



Guy: Yeah, like voting, rights, driving, and good decision making.

@ SLC
Taken by: M&M
Filed Under Pwn! | SLC

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it's been even longer since she paused to breathe

Sorostitute: I really want a muffin because they are so good. But I was on the phone with Momma one time in line here and I told her I was about to get a muffin. She said, "you know what happens to girls who eat muffins right? they get muffin tops." Then I looked over and this, like, huge girl was eating a muffin. So I was like, oh my gosh she's right. I haven't had a muffin in like six months.

@ jittery joes slc
Taken by: anon
Filed Under On the phone | One-liners | SLC

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no guts no glory

Girl 1: So, anyway... do you think this was an omen?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: I was walking outside Park Hall when I felt something wet and nasty hit the back of my neck.



Girl 2: Ew... bird poop?



Girl 1: No! Get this... it was a hawk or something squeezing the guts out of a baby squirrel... and when I looked up all these squirrel guts hit me in the face!



Girl 2: That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard!



Girl 1: So, anyway... do you think this was an omen?

@ SLC
Taken by: Snoopy
Filed Under Ew. | SLC

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she's clearly learning to be critical

(Three sorostitutes are talking after a logic and critical thinking class)



Sorostitute: So, ever since I've been at college, I've realized how totally immature girls in high school are... like for realz.

@ Logic Class in the SLC
Taken by: Kyle
Filed Under Dumbass | One-liners | SLC

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your 11 o'clock is on line 1

(Guy walks over to Sorostitute sitting down in armchair, they kiss)



Sorostitute: Bye, see you later!



(Guy walks away, her phone rings)



Sorostitute: Hey baby!

@ SLC
Taken by: Ben G
Caption by: cjc3552 (100)
Filed Under Pwn! | SLC

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which, by the way, is a great place to talk on the phone

Voice From Stall: That's cause you're in a bathroom, dumbass.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl on Cell: I couldn't believe he did that... ew, I just heard someone peeing!



Voice From Stall: That's cause you're in a bathroom, dumbass.

@ SLC
Taken by: anon
Filed Under Dumbass | On the phone | SLC

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"...so i should start sleeping with them now, right?"

Sorostitute: (about her political science classmates) They're all future something importants.

@ SLC
Taken by: chloe
Filed Under One-liners | SLC

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which must mean he's a shitty boyfriend

Guy on Cell: Yeah, I finally found out what happened to my boxers the other night when Katie and I got naked at her apartment. She called me the next day and said her cat had buried them in its litter box.

@ SLC
Taken by: Snoopy
Filed Under Hooking up | On the phone | SLC

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was it good for you?

Guy: So, he slept with you and then just never called?



Girl: Yeah, I think its pretty shitty.



Guy: Hmmm, you should call him... and tell him you have herpes.

@ SLC
Taken by: Ames
Filed Under Hooking up | SLC

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"...not so loud, man... i'm still hung over"

Professor: So who pretty much got trashed this weekend?



(about half raise their hands)



Proressor: (yells) Awesome! You guys are first up to give your presentations.

@ SLC
Taken by: That Guy Right There
Filed Under Drinking | In class | Pwn! | SLC

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can you walk a straight line for me, son?

Guy 1: Oh, you're right. Sorry, I have my paper goggles on.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(Very early in the morning at the SLC)



Guy 1: That girl is pretty hot.



Guy 2: No, she isn't.



Guy 1: Oh, you're right. Sorry, I have my paper goggles on.

@ SLC
Taken by: Paul
Filed Under SLC

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i have one... can i leave?

(In a lecture on BDSM)



Speaker: Any questions?



(silence from class)



Speaker: All right then. Anal sex...

@ SLC
Taken by: Ape.
Filed Under Ew. | In class | SLC

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and the oscar goes to... dumb and dumber!

Girl: Who won big at the Oscars?



Guy: Well, the Coen brothers won for four different categories.



Girl: Really? Who knew that the guys who created There's Something About Mary could win an Oscar someday?

@ SLC
Taken by: Louie
Filed Under Dumbass | Lost in translation | SLC

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my college counselor never mentioned that option

Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Roommate 1: (looking at Facebook) Is that the hot girl you work with?



Roommate 2:Yeah dude, and she's getting her PhD in Biochemistry.



Roommate 1: She should get a PhD on my penis.

@ SLC
Taken by: Turk
Filed Under Facebook | SLC

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college is about learning the fundamentals

Professor: Reading assignment due Wednesday, make sure you have it done.



Sorostitute: Is it important that we read for this class?



Professor: Are you serious? Yes, it is important that you read for this class.

@ SLC
Taken by: Scuba
Filed Under In class | SLC | Greek Life

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too late

Sorostitute on cell: Hey! My lucky red thong came through for me! He actually wanted to... hey, let me call you back... I think some people here are listening and I don't want this all over the Internet.

@ SLC
Taken by: Snoopy
Filed Under SLC | On the phone | One-liners

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"...i might be here a while"

Girl on cell: I'm at the CLC... the Student Learning Center.

@ CLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under One-liners | On the phone | Dumbass | SLC

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yep, july 4, 1929. they were the reason behind the depression.

Girl 1: But it was before 1930, right?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: When did we secede from Great Britain?



Girl 2: I'm not sure of the exact date, why?



Girl 1: But it was before 1930, right?

@ SLC
Taken by: carla
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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math is hard! let's go shopping!

two decades away!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl: (giving a presentation) We're going to be in a major energy crisis by the year 2037... and that's, like, two decades away!

@ In class, SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under One-liners | In class | Dumbass | SLC

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that's one way to crash a server

(Heard across the computer floor in the SLC)



Girl: (yelling) Oh my God! My nipple is on Facebook!

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Pwn! | One-liners | Facebook | SLC

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i'm currently computing your IQ

Sorostitute: What classes are you taking next semester?



Guy: Intro to personal computing and -



Sorostitute: (interrupting) Wait... like... on a computer?

@ SLC
Taken by: lumpypots
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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when old english was back in vogue

Girl 2: I know! It was so boring!



GIrl 3: Hmm, I don't think we ever read it. What year did y'all graduate?



Girl 1: 2005.



Girl 3: Oh, well that explains it. It must have been written after I graduated. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: My boyfriend wants to see Beowulf. I don't get it... I hated reading that in high school!



Girl 2: I know! It was so boring!



GIrl 3: Hmm, I don't think we ever read it. What year did y'all graduate?



Girl 1: 2005.



Girl 3: Oh, well that explains it. It must have been written after I graduated.

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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a simple "not much" would have sufficed

Girl 1: Hey! Whats up?



Girl 2: I spilled syrup on my pants this morning, and now my thighs keep sticking together!

@ SLC
Taken by: petite lovepony
Filed Under Ew. | SLC

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you passed that test when you got her pregnant

Fratty 2: What are you going to do? Haven't you been paying child support?



Fratty 1: I think I'm going to take a fraternity test to prove it isn't mine and then ask for my money back.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Fratty 1: Yeah, so remember that girl who said I got her pregnant? Well I saw the kid and I don't think its mine.



Fratty 2: What are you going to do? Haven't you been paying child support?



Fratty 1: I think I'm going to take a fraternity test to prove it isn't mine and then ask for my money back.

@ SLC
Taken by: Kinkster
Filed Under SLC | Hooking up | Greek Life

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now that's a diet

' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute 1: I think I really wanna get the flu shot this year, having the flu would suck so bad.



Sorostitute 2: Are you kidding? The flu would be a god-send, then I wouldn't be eating and I would be throwing up. I mean does it get any better?

@ 1st floor SLC
Taken by: JAP
Filed Under Greek Life | SLC

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it certainly wasn't holding up anyone's pants

Sorostitute 2: Um, you left dressed as a cowgirl... but you came back as Quailman.



Sorostitute 1: I was wondering why I had a belt around my head.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(On the day after Halloween)



Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod! I was so drunk last night I wouldn't have even known what I dressed up as if I hadn't woken up in it this morning!



Sorostitute 2: Um, you left dressed as a cowgirl... but you came back as Quailman.



Sorostitute 1: I was wondering why I had a belt around my head.

@ SLC
Taken by: Patty Mayonaise
Filed Under Drinking | SLC | Wtf?

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he's a whiz kid

Fratty 1: There's a watering ban, dumbass. I didn't flush the urinal either.



Fratty 2: Those have sensors on them.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Fratty 1: Dude I just pissed all over my hands.



Fratty 2: Thats sick! Why didn't you wash them?



Fratty 1: There's a watering ban, dumbass. I didn't flush the urinal either.



Fratty 2: Those have sensors on them.

@ SLC bathroom
Taken by: Marc
Filed Under Ew. | Greek Life | SLC | Wtf?

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it goes to the pool on the roof

Sorostitute: No, not that elevator! That one is going up!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(On the 4th floor of the SLC)



Fratty: The elevator's here.



Sorostitute: No, not that elevator! That one is going up!

@ SLC
Taken by: Anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | Greek Life | Greek Life | SLC

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studying her pants off, of course

Flagline girl: I left my panties in there this morning.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Flagline girl: How late is the SLC open?



Girl: Seriously? You're asking me during a game? I don't know, why?



Flagline girl: I left my panties in there this morning.

@ Sanford Stadium
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Ew. | Football | SLC

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urine trouble, man

Fratty: (Props feet on a chair) What? My feet are clean. I let the water run over them in the shower this morning.



Sorostitute: But don't guys pee in the shower?

@ SLC
Taken by: Sammi
Filed Under Greek Life | Greek Life | SLC | Ew.

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ironically, bulimia is being introduced as a new PE class

Girl 1: Are you going to the gym today?



Girl 2: No, I don't have time. I'm just going to throw up.

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Ew. | SLC

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you're the barry bonds of academia

Student: (looks at Adderall) Each one of those little balls is like another percentage point on my grade.

@ SLC
Taken by: PR
Filed Under Drugs | SLC

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the fratty pilgrimage. the hippies have bonnaroo, afterall

Fratty: We gotta go, man. I heard it was like the most frat-tastic thing ever. Like, wear your Vineyard Vines, man. Super fratty.

@ slc
Taken by: ash (50)
Filed Under SLC | Greek Life

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as if it were ever a question

Sorostitute 1: So how are you gonna eat then?



Sorostitute 2: Uh, duh, I'm not!

@ SLC
Taken by: Vinny V
Filed Under SLC | Greek Life

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the phone or the rugrat?

Professor: Sorry guys, but I have a pregnant wife at home.I have to keep my phone on in case something happens... I hope it's mine.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
(Professor's cell phone goes off in the middle of lecture)



Professor: Sorry guys, but I have a pregnant wife at home.I have to keep my phone on in case something happens... I hope it's mine.

@ SLC classroom
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under In class | SLC | One-liners

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like molasses

Girl: I'm taking it a lot slower than usual. We didn't even have sex until the third date.

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Ew. | SLC

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alcohol vs. studying (round 3)

(Drunk guy runs into the SLC with a bottle of beer)' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Drunk guy: Finals are gay! That's why I'm drunk!



(Drunk guy runs into the SLC with a bottle of beer)

@ SLC 2nd floor breezeway
Taken by: Confused
Filed Under Drinking | SLC | Wtf?

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it works a lot like original sin

Girl 2: You're American, right?



Girl 1: Well, yeah.



Girl 2: So American history is in your veins. You should already know it. Therefore you shouldn't have to study. Let;s go get drunk!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: I hate studying for History. I can't remember it and I just don't care.



Girl 2: You're American, right?



Girl 1: Well, yeah.



Girl 2: So American history is in your veins. You should already know it. Therefore you shouldn't have to study. Let;s go get drunk!

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under SLC | Dumbass | Drinking

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she'd need adderall to pay attention for that long

Girl 2: Yeah, totally.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: Man, this Adderall is giving me some serious cottonmouth.



Girl 2: Yeah, I know what you mean.



Girl 1: I feel like I've been sucking dick for hours on end.



Girl 2: Yeah, totally.

@ within a stall in girls bathroom, SLC 4th floor
Taken by: Poor person
Filed Under Wtf? | Ew. | SLC | Drugs

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I thought midol cured cramps

Sorostitute 1: Oh my god... so I think I have HPV.



Sorostitute 2: Oh, don't worry, I've had that before. Its not a big deal, just take some Advil.

@ SLC
Taken by: Libby
Filed Under Ew. | Greek Life | SLC

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that's no easter egg

Redhead: God, I really wanna eat some chocolate right now.



Blonde: Really? Why?



Redhead: I think I'm about to start my period... or I'm pregnant. Either way, I still want chocolate.

@ SLC
Taken by: Laura Evans
Filed Under SLC | Ew.

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how did she not see that coming?

Sorostitute 1: Do you ever just get tired of having sex?



Sorostitute 2: Actually... no. I never get tired of sex.



Sorostiture 1: Yeah, well that's because you're a whore!

@ SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Greek Life | SLC

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dumpster is the new potters house

Guy: With a bag you found in the dumpster?



Indie girl: Hey! No one has to know.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Indie girl: I found this Burberry bag in a dumpster one day. They're expensive. So, if i ever wanted to show off my status...



Guy: With a bag you found in the dumpster?



Indie girl: Hey! No one has to know.

@ benches outside SLC
Taken by: just wanted a nap
Filed Under SLC | Dumbass

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better that than a pedophile serial killer

Guy 1: I think I might go pre-med.



Guy 2: Really? I just declared that this past weekend. What do you want to do?



Guy 1: I want to be a pediatric surgeon. (pauses) I want to cut children.

@ SLC
Taken by: scj
Filed Under Wtf? | SLC

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gotta love the kindness of strangers

Sorostitute 1: I am starting this new zero calorie diet.



Sorostitute 2: I hear it is so in right now.



Passerby: It's called anorexia, google it. Also try making yourself throw-up. I hear you can shed those pounds like crazy.

@ SLC Jittery Joes
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Pwn! | Greek Life | SLC

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she's been studying way too long

Guy: Hi, what would you like today?



Sorostitute: I would just like a vanilla mocha and one of those things in the glass holder right there, sorry I forgot what they are called.



Guy: A bagel?



Sorostitute: Yeah, that's it!

@ Jittery Joes, SLC
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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or maybe even a contusion

Girl: I have this really bad bruise. I'm afraid it's internal bleeding.

@ SLC
Taken by: r
Filed Under Dumbass | SLC

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what else is there to do... besides take grammar lessons?

so like go to the beach!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute: If I would've won that $80 million jackpot I'd so like go to the beach!

@ slc
Taken by: BBBM
Filed Under One-liners | Dumbass | SLC

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the kissing or the stove?

Sorostitute 1: Yeah he's a really good kisser by the way.



Sorostitute 2: Whoa you guys made out?



Sorostitute 1: Yeah for like an hour and a half. I have bruises from being shoved up against the wall, the refrigerator, the stove...



Sorostitute 2: Ooo that's hot!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute 1: Yeah I saw him this week and I spent some time with him on Saturday.



Sorostitute 2: Oh that's really awesome!



Sorostitute 1: Yeah he's a really good kisser by the way.



Sorostitute 2: Whoa you guys made out?



Sorostitute 1: Yeah for like an hour and a half. I have bruises from being shoved up against the wall, the refrigerator, the stove...



Sorostitute 2: Ooo that's hot!

@ SLC Classroom
Taken by: anonymous
Filed Under Greek Life | SLC | Ew.

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i'll have to remember to try that as a pickup line

Professor: (explaining carpe diem) You know, we're all going to die one day. And our bodies are going to rot in the graves, and our teeth are going to fall out. But, lets have sex tonight! Seize the Day!

@ SLC
Taken by: ?
Filed Under Ew. | In class | SLC

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they're clothes, unless they're not

Girl 2: Why don't you have on a jacket?



Girl 1: I didn't bring any clothes back with me.



Girl 2: Then what was all that in that suitcase you brought back yesterday?



Girl 1: Clothes.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Girl 1: I'm so cold!



Girl 2: Why don't you have on a jacket?



Girl 1: I didn't bring any clothes back with me.



Girl 2: Then what was all that in that suitcase you brought back yesterday?



Girl 1: Clothes.

@ slc
Taken by: ohmygosh
Filed Under SLC | Dumbass

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because blowing jason is securing my future

Sorostitute 1: I skipped our last class because Jason wanted a BJ.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>
Sorostitute 1: Hey! Oh my God I never see you on campus!



Sorostitute 2: Yeah i know, why weren't you in class today?



Sorostitute 1: I skipped our last class because Jason wanted a BJ.

@ SLC
Taken by: Ham
Filed Under Ew. | SLC | Greek Life

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its uga... every class is mostly white people