Quotes Filed Under "Pwn!"


the meter maids are getting really serious about that one hour limit

33 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2009

    SLUT keyed into someone's car in The Club apartment complex... someone must have had a bad night!

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not what a girl wants

4 [+ / -]     Jun 12, 2009

    (Two ten year old girls looking at a scandalous picture of Christina Aguilera at Borders)



    Girl 1: When I get older, I want to dress like that.



    Girl 2: Whore.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

145 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

    Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?



    Girl: Obama's got your change!

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no one said anything about sharing with marsupials

-33 [+ / -]     May 25, 2009

    We were walking down Baxter and noticed this dead possum right beside the "share the road" sign. How convenient.

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...but here's some consolation beads

186 [+ / -]     May 24, 2009

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and he's meeting the doctor for drinks on friday

-22 [+ / -]     May 16, 2009

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it's good to stay one step ahead

86 [+ / -]     May 14, 2009

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and they say young people don't care about the issues

69 [+ / -]     May 07, 2009

    Sorostitute: Whatever, Obama only got into office because of all those bullshit liberal laws anyway.



    Employee: Oh yeah? What bullshit laws are those?



    Sorostitute: You know, like affirmative action.

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two great tastes that go great together

-13 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2009

    Sign at the Georgia Theater

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happy anniversary!

12 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2009

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if you can't beat 'em, mug 'em

275 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2009

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is it cock blocking if he never stood a chance?

109 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2009

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you'd think he'd be used to it

103 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2009

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point / counterpoint

135 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2009

    (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)



    Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.



    Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

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toeing the line

193 [+ / -]     Mar 17, 2009

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an atm with a sense of humor

7 [+ / -]     Mar 12, 2009

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in this case, it wasn't worth a shot

107 [+ / -]     Mar 06, 2009

    Drunk Girl: (to Guy) Hey, I need to get laid tonight. Will you buy me a shot?



    (Guy and Drunk Girl take a shot)



    Drunk Girl: Okay, thanks!



    (Drunk Girl walks away)

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

15 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

    guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

133 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

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mount up!

103 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

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now she'll definitely remember that appointment

43 [+ / -]     Feb 17, 2009

    In case you can't tell the entire Trailblazer is covered in Post-It notes.

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she must have gotten up on the evil side of the bed

179 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2009

    Girl 1: It was weird, I totally saw a less cute version of you today by the Hull Street parking deck. It was like your evil twin or something.



    Girl 2: (pauses) Yeah... that was me, actually.

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jill was terrified when she saw it. "bubba can't see this," she screamed.

20 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

    Car parked in intramural fields. Incase you can't read it, its says "White trash lover" (notice the condoms on the rack). Looks like someone pissed the wrong girl off.

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patterson wrote on your wall

40 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

    Just in case its unclear:

    Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson

    Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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we vote that the cowgirl position be renamed to "the human shield"

217 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

    Girl 1: So, my boyfriend came home with me for Christmas to meet my parents.



    Girl 2: How did that go?



    Girl 1: Well, my Dad got a shotgun for Christmas, and he held it up and told Jack that if he ever caught him fooling around with me, he would shoot him right there. Then Jack said that would be really hard if I was on top!

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billmurraphobia: a fear of insignificant holidays

46 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

    Italian Teacher: Can someone please explain to me what Groundhog Day is?



    Sorostitute: It's like all these paparazzi are around this groundhog and everyone makes a big deal about it, and the mayor of the town shows up, and it's supposed to say how cold it's going to be. It's just an excuse for Boondock, Pennsylvania to feel important.

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oh crap... i hear banjos!

161 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

    Professor: Last wednesday we discussed what a good argument would be for believing that Obama will succeed in office, today it will be the opposite.



    (Professor waits for hands to go up)



    Redneck: (eventually raising his hand) Well... he is black.



    (The entire class looks at him)



    Redneck: I'm only kidding, for Christ's sake, I was gonna vote for him if he wasn't a liberal... and a Muslim communist extremist.

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admitting you have a problem is the first step

226 [+ / -]     Jan 09, 2009

    Sorostitute: What made you think my boyfriend wanted to make out with you?



    Gay Guy: His erection.

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wonder who insures cheney?

56 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2009

    Prince Avenue, Normaltown.

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its an olde storey

100 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2009

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#13   they may have a won the game, but we make better signs

83 [+ / -]     Jan 01, 2009

    Found this sign on North Campus. A friend asked what clap was. haha

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wwad: what would an atheist do?

1 [+ / -]     Dec 31, 2008

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but 10 years is such a long time

3 [+ / -]     Dec 31, 2008

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the same old story

14 [+ / -]     Dec 30, 2008

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