Quotes Filed Under "Pwn!"


isn't the patchouli supposed to fix that?

32 [+ / -]     Jul 21, 2008

    Hippie Girl: Well he is great... he is attractive, great with words, writes me wonderful poetry, and in tune with nature. I just don't know if all of that is enough to make up for the terrible B.O.

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careful what you wish for... they have night sticks

208 [+ / -]     Jul 14, 2008

    (As Drunk Guy is getting arrested by the cops and put in cop car)



    Cop: Any requests?



    Drunk Guy: Yeah... 95.5 The Beat!

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he's now wishing he hadn't played that game of never have i ever

-33 [+ / -]     Jul 13, 2008

    Girl: Well, she lost her virginity at, like, 23.



    Guy: Damn, she beat me!



    Girl: Yeah, but you lost your virginity to a guy.



    Guy: What?!

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on failing an oral exam

8 [+ / -]     Jul 07, 2008

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who also happens to be a smartass

68 [+ / -]     Jul 03, 2008

    Guy 1: I have to be inside before sunrise.



    Guy 2: Why? You a reverse vampire?



    Guy 1: No. Regular kind.

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leave mom out of it

140 [+ / -]     Jul 01, 2008

    (A young guy is walking down the street holding hands with a much older, not so attractive lady)



    Bum: Boy, you're had too much to drink!

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don't forget to get a protective case

1 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2008

    Customer: Do you know where a Mac store is?



    Sales Associate: Yeah, I think there is one at Northpoint Mall. Why? Are you thinking about buying a computer?



    Customer: No... I need to buy some lip gloss.

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that's just barbicide. common mistake.

-21 [+ / -]     Jun 17, 2008

    Sorostitute: Holy Fuck! it smells like fucking poverty in here!

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and he wonders why no one comes to office hours

209 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2008

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and then they took the twenty

122 [+ / -]     Jun 09, 2008

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royalty works a bit differently in the south

56 [+ / -]     Jun 04, 2008

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you have learned much, grasshopper

70 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2008

    (Mother and daughter at checkout lane)



    Daughter: So, we total up all our receipts, find out how much we spent, and then not tell daddy because he doesn't need to know.

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it really ties the room together

32 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

    Girl 1: (Referring to a rug) Is that your magic carpet?



    Girl 2: No... we pray on that.

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