Quotes Filed Under "Pwn!"


now we're even more mad

23 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2010

    Asian Girl: Wait, are we mad at each other?



    Asian Guy: Yeah.



    Asian Girl: Oh, okay.



    (Girl slaps guy)

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with a name like thad, he should have seen it coming

3 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2010

    Runner 1: Dude, if we were in a post-apocalyptic world, how would we break it to him that we all voted and decided to eat him?



    Runner 2: We'd just be like, "Thad, we're eating your ass!"

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and because you're crying, i'm taking you down to a D

16 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2010

    Professor: I saw a girl earlier today crying over a C on a test.



    Student: Was it one of your students?



    Professor: No, had it been one of mine, I would have smacked her.

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today expect record highs and a 97% chance of keeping it real

4 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2010

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nah, i'll just look for someone who goes to class less

44 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2010

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think before you sprechen

102 [+ / -]     Oct 21, 2009

    Girl: Why would anyone want to major in German? No one speaks that! I mean, who speaks German?



    Guy: (shouting from across the lecture hall): I do, so fuck you!

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this is one test you need to study for

53 [+ / -]     Oct 08, 2009

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and then we throw them in volcanoes

128 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2009

    Girl: Why are all those sorority girls wearing white dresses?



    Bus Driver: It's bid day. They have to pretend they're virgins.

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is that french?

63 [+ / -]     Oct 05, 2009

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revenge is sweet

150 [+ / -]     Oct 04, 2009

    (After the LSU game)



    LSU Fan: Hey, can you tell me how to get to Downtown?



    Elderly UGA Fan: (pointing towards south campus) Yeah, it's right down that way.

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isn't that a bit hypocritical?

12 [+ / -]     Sep 17, 2009

    Neon green duct tape covering up an old bumper sticker

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not just for kids anymore

36 [+ / -]     Sep 14, 2009

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i guess he'll just have to play football

47 [+ / -]     Sep 13, 2009

    First grader 1: James, do you know everything?



    (No response from James)



    First grader 2: No, he can't know everything, he doesn't have glasses.

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someone is giving the freshmen the wrong secret password

55 [+ / -]     Sep 03, 2009

    (A bus stops at Chemistry)



    Freshman Girl: Excuse me, where are you going?



    Bus Driver: Where do you need to go?



    Freshman Girl: Russell Hall.



    Bus Driver: Not there.



    (Driver closes the door in her face)

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extreme makeover: uga edition

49 [+ / -]     Aug 31, 2009

    TA: And as you can see, Ty Pennington is in this ad.



    Girl: He went to my high school!



    TA: He's a douche bag.

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this will really help on game days

41 [+ / -]     Aug 31, 2009

    Under the words of the sign, someone wrote a suggestion: "Sudafed helps"

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rain rain, go away

-8 [+ / -]     Aug 30, 2009

    Guy 1: Last night was crazy.



    Guy 2: Really? Why, what happened?



    Guy 1: I came home last night, saw my roommate on the futon... so I unzipped and peed all over his head.

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they'll screw you more, too

149 [+ / -]     Aug 12, 2009

    Drunk Guy: Fucking Charter calls me more than my girlfriend.

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she'll eventually be allowed to go on dates without a chaperone

-37 [+ / -]     Jul 13, 2009

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the truth does not always set you free

169 [+ / -]     Jul 12, 2009

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#8   the meter maids are getting really serious about that one hour limit

95 [+ / -]     Jun 30, 2009

    SLUT keyed into someone's car in The Club apartment complex... someone must have had a bad night!

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not what a girl wants

11 [+ / -]     Jun 12, 2009

    (Two ten year old girls looking at a scandalous picture of Christina Aguilera at Borders)



    Girl 1: When I get older, I want to dress like that.



    Girl 2: Whore.

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after all, everyone else is getting a bailout

167 [+ / -]     May 28, 2009

    Homeless Man: Can I have some change? I just really need some change, man, please, can I have some change?



    Girl: Obama's got your change!

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no one said anything about sharing with marsupials

-34 [+ / -]     May 25, 2009

    We were walking down Baxter and noticed this dead possum right beside the "share the road" sign. How convenient.

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...but here's some consolation beads

218 [+ / -]     May 24, 2009

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and he's meeting the doctor for drinks on friday

-27 [+ / -]     May 16, 2009

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it's good to stay one step ahead

94 [+ / -]     May 14, 2009

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and they say young people don't care about the issues

75 [+ / -]     May 07, 2009

    Sorostitute: Whatever, Obama only got into office because of all those bullshit liberal laws anyway.



    Employee: Oh yeah? What bullshit laws are those?



    Sorostitute: You know, like affirmative action.

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two great tastes that go great together

-11 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2009

    Sign at the Georgia Theater

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happy anniversary!

14 [+ / -]     Apr 11, 2009

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if you can't beat 'em, mug 'em

288 [+ / -]     Apr 09, 2009

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is it cock blocking if he never stood a chance?

117 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2009

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you'd think he'd be used to it

105 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2009

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point / counterpoint

137 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2009

    (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)



    Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.



    Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

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toeing the line

200 [+ / -]     Mar 17, 2009

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an atm with a sense of humor

11 [+ / -]     Mar 12, 2009

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in this case, it wasn't worth a shot

113 [+ / -]     Mar 06, 2009

    Drunk Girl: (to Guy) Hey, I need to get laid tonight. Will you buy me a shot?



    (Guy and Drunk Girl take a shot)



    Drunk Girl: Okay, thanks!



    (Drunk Girl walks away)

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

17 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

    guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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but apparently not the best answer

136 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

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mount up!

107 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

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now she'll definitely remember that appointment

44 [+ / -]     Feb 17, 2009

    In case you can't tell the entire Trailblazer is covered in Post-It notes.

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she must have gotten up on the evil side of the bed

186 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2009

    Girl 1: It was weird, I totally saw a less cute version of you today by the Hull Street parking deck. It was like your evil twin or something.



    Girl 2: (pauses) Yeah... that was me, actually.

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jill was terrified when she saw it. "bubba can't see this," she screamed.

25 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2009

    Car parked in intramural fields. Incase you can't read it, its says "White trash lover" (notice the condoms on the rack). Looks like someone pissed the wrong girl off.

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patterson wrote on your wall

43 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

    Just in case its unclear:

    Russ:
    Fuck you
    -Patterson

    Patterson:
    Try to suck less dick
    -Everyone

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we vote that the cowgirl position be renamed to "the human shield"

223 [+ / -]     Feb 07, 2009

    Girl 1: So, my boyfriend came home with me for Christmas to meet my parents.



    Girl 2: How did that go?



    Girl 1: Well, my Dad got a shotgun for Christmas, and he held it up and told Jack that if he ever caught him fooling around with me, he would shoot him right there. Then Jack said that would be really hard if I was on top!

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billmurraphobia: a fear of insignificant holidays

48 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

    Italian Teacher: Can someone please explain to me what Groundhog Day is?



    Sorostitute: It's like all these paparazzi are around this groundhog and everyone makes a big deal about it, and the mayor of the town shows up, and it's supposed to say how cold it's going to be. It's just an excuse for Boondock, Pennsylvania to feel important.

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oh crap... i hear banjos!

165 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2009

    Professor: Last wednesday we discussed what a good argument would be for believing that Obama will succeed in office, today it will be the opposite.



    (Professor waits for hands to go up)



    Redneck: (eventually raising his hand) Well... he is black.



    (The entire class looks at him)



    Redneck: I'm only kidding, for Christ's sake, I was gonna vote for him if he wasn't a liberal... and a Muslim communist extremist.

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admitting you have a problem is the first step

235 [+ / -]     Jan 09, 2009

    Sorostitute: What made you think my boyfriend wanted to make out with you?



    Gay Guy: His erection.

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wonder who insures cheney?

57 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2009

    Prince Avenue, Normaltown.

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its an olde storey

105 [+ / -]     Jan 07, 2009

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#10   they may have a won the game, but we make better signs

93 [+ / -]     Jan 01, 2009

    Found this sign on North Campus. A friend asked what clap was. haha

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wwad: what would an atheist do?

4 [+ / -]     Dec 31, 2008

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but 10 years is such a long time

1 [+ / -]     Dec 31, 2008

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the same old story

19 [+ / -]     Dec 30, 2008

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and none of that watered down wine bullshit, either

62 [+ / -]     Dec 09, 2008

    Church sign seen around 3:30 am while walking home from downtown

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words, not quite from the heart

142 [+ / -]     Dec 02, 2008

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dirty hands and a dirty mouth

-126 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2008

    (Student is reaching for cookies using his hands)



    Dining hall lady: Use those tongs, use those tongs now.



    Student: Fuck off.

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get 'em young

17 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2008

    (A little girl in a stroller and her mother are passing by a news stand)



    Little Girl: Look mommy, Obama!



    (The mother quickly rushes past the news stand)

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it takes a village

57 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2008

    Obama Supporter: (Pointing to Obama on the cover of the Red & Black) So, how do you feel about that?



    McCain Supporter: I don't care. I don't even feel like studying. I'm probably going to have to share my diploma with everyone anyway.

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