Quotes Filed Under "Lost in translation"


can i take that coin with me downtown this weekend?

65 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2010

    Middle-Eastern TA: Coin have two side. So if I flip coin, there is a fifty percent chance that I will get head.

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dead wrong

164 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2009

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this is either spy talk or porno talk. not sure which.

-36 [+ / -]     Oct 07, 2009

    Girl 1: Hey, I have your umbrella.



    Girl 2: Yeah! you jacked my umbrella.



    Girl 1: Yeah it was in my bush in front of my apartment. You can get it if you want, its in my back seat.

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they decided to stop celebrating mardi gras after that

126 [+ / -]     May 17, 2009

    Customer: Can I have a refill on my Dr. Pepper?



    Cashier: Sure! Take your top off.



    (Customer stares)

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and the dog is in jail

-46 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2009

    Woman on cell: I can't go anywhere. He got a DUI, so now my car's in the pound.

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or he could be a turfgrass management major

103 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2009

    Drunk Guy 1: What class do you have at nine?



    Drunk Guy 2: Fire ants.



    Drunk Guy 1: What?



    Drunk Guy 3: I assume he meant finance.

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he's also very stylish and comes with his own allen wrench

8 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2009

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all great change in america begins at the dinner table.

86 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2009

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someone was a bit too drunk on valentine's day

37 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2009

    Guy: So, have you seen my new tattoo?



    Girl: No! (looks at tattoo) I like it, what does it mean?



    Guy: I'm not sure - either "love" or "free sex."

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does hope wear a funny hat?

-32 [+ / -]     Mar 04, 2009

    (Girl and Guy are ordering food and discussing HOPE scholarship enrollment requirements)



    Guy: You can get partial HOPE with six hours.



    Cashier: Dude, I must be really fried from the long day, because I thought you guys were talking about how you were going to meet the Pope in six hours, and I was all like, "The Pope? That's cool, man."

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despite the math, he does make a good point

46 [+ / -]     Jan 22, 2009

    Old Guy 1: So, is it cold enough for ya?



    Old Guy 2: I about froze my ass off out there. I talked to my cousin who lives in Winnipeg. They count in Celsius up there, and he said it's -50, which means -100 in normal temperature. That's cold.

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che frattastica!

117 [+ / -]     Jan 10, 2009

    Teacher: (in Italian) What are some of the physical attributes of an average UGA student?



    (Students offer suggestions)



    Teacher: (in Italian) Short hair, blond hair, medium height, sportive. What else?



    Student: How do you say North Face in Italian?

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he's a bit unclear on the other half of the word

70 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

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plus, babies just taste gross

39 [+ / -]     Dec 02, 2008

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that class trip to mexicali wasn't as helpful as the teacher hoped

81 [+ / -]     Dec 01, 2008

    Girl: How do you say...



    Teacher: Ah ah ah... en español!



    Girl: Oh right, sorry. Cómo se dice "taco" en español?

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we're sure he's never gotten that one before

-37 [+ / -]     Nov 25, 2008

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don't get snippy with me, mon

175 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2008

    Girl: So, are you going home to Jamaica over Christmas break?



    Jamaican Guy: No, my father and I are going to get naturalized next month!



    Girl: (cringing, looking at Jamaican Guy's crotch) Won't that... hurt?

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it only makes you think you're horny

67 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

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someone's been using babelfish

42 [+ / -]     Nov 16, 2008

    can't spell - cocktels

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and another one accidentally leaves the closet

-35 [+ / -]     Nov 13, 2008

    Guy 1: (Wearing a North Face) This shawl is making me so hot right now.



    Guy 2: Um, that's a jacket.

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with a side of tiger and bear. oh my.

68 [+ / -]     Nov 12, 2008

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a regular don juan

201 [+ / -]     Nov 02, 2008

    Spanish Professor: Soon you will begin to prepare for the oral sex. O dios mio! I mean test! Test!

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that's what you get for mouthing off

34 [+ / -]     Oct 26, 2008

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1820s or 1920s? either way, you're wrong.

39 [+ / -]     Oct 13, 2008

    Sorostitute 1: I wish I lived in the 60s.



    Sorostitute 2: I probably would have lived in Gone with the Wind times.



    Sorostitute 1: Ew... the twenties?

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that misconception isn't quite as common as the other

107 [+ / -]     Oct 06, 2008

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which, incidentally, is also his nickname

24 [+ / -]     Aug 10, 2008

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talk about a bone-crushing sunburn

40 [+ / -]     Aug 04, 2008

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office supplies are a total necessity

93 [+ / -]     Jul 15, 2008

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sorry, we only studied the first 15 in class

158 [+ / -]     Jul 01, 2008

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and as we all know, listening skills are against their religion

-46 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2008

    Guy: (talking to a group of strangers) Your friend is drunk.



    Girl: Im not Jewish! I'm Fucking Protestant!

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the one that always has it's head in the sand?

35 [+ / -]     Jun 22, 2008

    Freshman Girl: Does this make me look emo?



    Freshman Guy: Isn't that like a giant bird or something?

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submitted by anonymous

36 [+ / -]     Jun 19, 2008

    (After yearbooks were handed out at a high school graduation)



    Guy 1: Wow, a lot of people quoted Vince Lombardi.



    Guy 2: No, nearly everyone quoted this one rapper.



    Guy 1: Yeah, I hardly see any rap quotes. Who was it?



    Guy 2: I don't really listen to rap, but it was some guy named Anon.

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or anywhere near me for that matter

88 [+ / -]     Jun 11, 2008

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a case of mistaken identa-p

-102 [+ / -]     Jun 06, 2008

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you can drink 'till you're stupid, it won't take long

-27 [+ / -]     May 28, 2008

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it really ties the room together

39 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

    Girl 1: (Referring to a rug) Is that your magic carpet?



    Girl 2: No... we pray on that.

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like throwing a toggle bolt down a hallway

29 [+ / -]     May 24, 2008

    (Looking at wall anchors at Wal-Mart)



    Girl 1: This is the size you need, right here.



    Girl 2: My hole is way bigger than that.



    Girl 1: No, this is the one you need



    Girl 2: No, I am telling you... my hole is bigger than that. If I use that, it is just going to fall out of the hole. Really.

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how easily we forget they're actually the same thing

-5 [+ / -]     May 15, 2008

    Girl: They are virgins. I think they only want to get married so they can have sex.



    Guy: Why don't they just fuck before they have sex? Wait...

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must have been a great lecture

65 [+ / -]     May 14, 2008

    Girl 1: She said penis 57 times in 26 minutes.



    Girl 2: I also got 6 erections.

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there is no spoon

-37 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

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"...you mean your house, right?"

51 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

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can you hear william wallace turning in his grave?

40 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

    Sociology Instructor: (talking about ideas) Where is the only place that you truly have freedom?



    Dude: Amsterdam?

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and where the hell did i put that map?

35 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

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i'll take that as a maybe

-29 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

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ordering off the taco bell dollar menu doesn't count

56 [+ / -]     May 06, 2008

    Guy: I love when girls speak different languages!



    Drunk Girl: I speak Spanish!



    Guy: Oh really? Como estas?



    Drunk Girl: What?

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just wishful thinking

-15 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

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any good southerner will tell you that there's no singular form

120 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

    (At breakfast)



    UCLA Gymnastics Coach: Umm... I have just one question before we order. What is a "grit?"

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you shouldn't trust anyone that can taste with their eyes

16 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2008

    Guy: Christianity was the religion of the white people who were oppressing them, so I think it left a bad taste in the Indians' eyes.

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not until after the operation

-26 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2008

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and why does my browser keep telling me i need java?

-26 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2008

    Professor: Cookies are all over your files, they store information from the Web.



    Girl: (whispering) How do they cookies store stuff, all you can really do with them is eat them.

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[+ / -]     Dec 31, 1969

    @
    Taken by:
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can't be worse than that shit you eat at mexicali

-37 [+ / -]     Apr 15, 2008

    Girl 1: So do you think we will like actually see Mexicans?



    Girl 2: Are you serious... we are going to be in Mexico.



    Girl 1: Yeah, but will we eat authentic Mexican food?



    Girl 2: Yes! What else do you expect?



    Girl 1: Well, I'm not eating it because I heard they crush up bugs and stuff into their food there.

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i'm sure her dad thinks it's hilarious

86 [+ / -]     Apr 14, 2008

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and not enough people wear hearing aids

30 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2008

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have you been drinking tonight, officer?

195 [+ / -]     Apr 04, 2008

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not those kind of wigs

16 [+ / -]     Apr 03, 2008

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at least she didn't mention the stains the dry cleaner couldn't get out

254 [+ / -]     Apr 01, 2008

    Guy: I gave Joyce a ride home last weekend. She wanted to pick up some stuff at the dry cleaners on the way out of Athens. I drop her off at her home and the next morning my mom is all upset. Joyce had left a message on our answering machine that said, "Hey, I left my dress in your car last night..."

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you could try the retard aisle

-42 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2008

    Girl 1: Hey, where do you think the turkey is?



    Girl 2: Did you look in the poultry section?



    Girl 1: No, I'm looking for turkey, not chicken.

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that would explain the lack of appetite

243 [+ / -]     Mar 31, 2008

    Girl on Cell: So all I had for lunch was some Coke and a couple of Milky Way eggs that you gave me in the Easter basket.



    (pause)



    Girl on Cell: No mom, not cocaine. Coca Cola. I can't afford weed, much less cocaine.

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good luck with the etymology final

77 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2008

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let's hope he has workman's comp

-51 [+ / -]     Mar 19, 2008

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they made a book out of that movie?

67 [+ / -]     Mar 19, 2008

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ah ha, the letter three, my friend

208 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2008

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"...i have no idea what you're talking about, but count me in!"

-59 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2008

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there's no place like tech, there's no place like tech...

-11 [+ / -]     Mar 17, 2008

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so long, thanks for all the fish

-51 [+ / -]     Mar 13, 2008

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(de)evolution at work

-9 [+ / -]     Mar 10, 2008

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i guess that makes her right-brained

74 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2008

    Professor: People with strong left brains tend to be more creative and less analytic.



    Girl: Wait, my left or yours?

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how many clintons does it take to titrate obama?

148 [+ / -]     Mar 07, 2008

    Girl 1: I was a political science major, but I already graduated.



    Girl 2: Oh my god. You should totally tutor me, science is my worst subject. Chemistry is killing me.

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no matter what, it'll feel like an eternity

-74 [+ / -]     Mar 05, 2008

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you hit the nail on the head

-35 [+ / -]     Feb 29, 2008

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who wouldn't wait an hour for an escort taxi?

-66 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2008

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and the oscar goes to... dumb and dumber!

-69 [+ / -]     Feb 27, 2008

    Girl: Who won big at the Oscars?



    Guy: Well, the Coen brothers won for four different categories.



    Girl: Really? Who knew that the guys who created There's Something About Mary could win an Oscar someday?

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that gold bikini looked so hot

-28 [+ / -]     Feb 26, 2008

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couldn't fit "me love you long time" on the candy

114 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2008

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at least the liberal art majors will have a leg up

24 [+ / -]     Feb 16, 2008

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yeah, you could say they're pretty social

60 [+ / -]     Feb 16, 2008

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wait... how many women have hunches?

56 [+ / -]     Feb 15, 2008

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um, no. but we can see why you might think that.

107 [+ / -]     Feb 13, 2008

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being stupid isn't just for drunks anymore

2 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2008

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divorce is just one small step for man

74 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2008

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that train's left the parking lot

-83 [+ / -]     Feb 10, 2008