Quotes Filed Under "Drugs"

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White Girl: Well, they do look like pink Pez. They'd look cool in one of those dispensers.

Black Girl: What the fuck does that have to do with my addiction?

White Girl: I don't know, I just think a Yoda Pez dispenser would be cool.

Black Girl: Yoda is so fucking awesome!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

might want to mix in some ritalin, too

13 [+ / -] Oct 12, 2009

Black Girl: So my mom's all "Black people don't have pill problems," but I've been popping Benadryl tablets like they're candy to sleep at night.

White Girl: Well, they do look like pink Pez. They'd look cool in one of those dispensers.

Black Girl: What the fuck does that have to do with my addiction?

White Girl: I don't know, I just think a Yoda Pez dispenser would be cool.

Black Girl: Yoda is so fucking awesome!

Peabody

Shannon

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Guy: Yeah. It just puts me in a kinda weird position though, because, you know, I really like my cigarettes and I really like my beers. I mean, I don't want that to keep me from being what God wants me to be, but...

Girl: Yeah...' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

losing my religion

-19 [+ / -] Sep 17, 2009

Guy: So I got offered a job at this church as a youth pastor.

Girl: Really? That's great!

Guy: Yeah. It just puts me in a kinda weird position though, because, you know, I really like my cigarettes and I really like my beers. I mean, I don't want that to keep me from being what God wants me to be, but...

Girl: Yeah...

Walking around campus

Cam

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Drinking

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09/17/2009, 9:46 PM

anon said...

i don't see the humor here...

Reply

09/18/2009, 10:25 AM

Jed Clampett said...

I knew a guy in UGA Drumline just like this. Someone made a comment that WWJD stood for We Want Jack Daniels because he got drunk all the time.

Reply

09/19/2009, 11:48 AM

anonymous said...

I might venture to say the majority of "Christian" students at uga are the same way

Reply

09/23/2009, 09:23 AM

anony said...

the Bible never says anything about cigarettes, and the only thing it says about alcohol is not to get drunk... so that doesn't have to "keep him from what God wants him to be"... that's just legalism.

Reply

09/30/2009, 3:55 PM

anonymous said...

right... but what happened to ideas of moderation and avoidance of gluttony, dude?
and anyway, i think the idea is more along the lines of her needing to set a good example as a role model for her students, and not be hypocritical in that respect.

Reply

09/23/2009, 09:25 AM

bill said...

this title sucks.

Reply

09/25/2009, 7:38 PM

anonymous said...

R.E.M. reference? Why do you think the title of this sucks? I thought it was pretty clever.

Reply

don't get her started on splenda

17 [+ / -] Aug 12, 2009

Little Boy: Okay.

Cashier: How can I help you, ma'am?

Middle aged mom: Yeah, can I get a carton of Camels, unfiltered?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Middle aged mom: (referring to a 5-hour energy shot) Don't ever drink these. They will make your brain bleed. They will kill you.

Little Boy: Okay.

Cashier: How can I help you, ma'am?

Middle aged mom: Yeah, can I get a carton of Camels, unfiltered?

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among other things

16 [+ / -] Jun 21, 2009

(Two researchers are outside their building taking a smoke break)

Researcher 1: You know, I hear Splenda's bad for you.

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Stoner 1: Yeah. I figure if I do it everyone else will do it, too.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

we were unaware that it wasn't already trendy

-32 [+ / -] May 31, 2009

Stoner 1: Hey. Nice to meet you.

Stoner 2: Actually, I think I know you. Weren't you the guy smoking a bowl in the bathroom at Taco Stand?

Stoner 1: Yeah. I figure if I do it everyone else will do it, too.

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for when those pimples drive you crazy

-53 [+ / -] May 26, 2009

Nurse: Are you still on the Differin?

Patient: No.

Nurse: Any new medicine?

Patient: Risperdal.

Nurse: Is that for acne?

Patient: No, it is an anti-psychotic.

Health Center

roadragin (30)

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he's rocking his own stimulus package

141 [+ / -] Mar 27, 2009

Professor: The government could get away with slapping a huge tax on pot because people would be willing to pay it. It's already expensive enough trying to sneak around and buy pot illegally.

(class is silent for 15-20 seconds)

Professor: I would assume.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

(Economics class is talking about California's plan to legalize marijuana for tax profits)

Professor: The government could get away with slapping a huge tax on pot because people would be willing to pay it. It's already expensive enough trying to sneak around and buy pot illegally.

(class is silent for 15-20 seconds)

Professor: I would assume.

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Drunk Guy 1: The atomic mass. Helium is 1, Nitrogen is 7.

Drunk Guy 2: One makes your voice high. One fuuuuuucks you up!

(Bum runs away)' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

we wonder which one he is going to inhale

54 [+ / -] Mar 23, 2009

Bum: (holding two balloons) Hey man. Hey! What's the difference between helium and nitrogen?

Drunk Guy 1: The atomic mass. Helium is 1, Nitrogen is 7.

Drunk Guy 2: One makes your voice high. One fuuuuuucks you up!

(Bum runs away)

Clayton St in front of Wuxtry

Sox

Bum

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patriotism is a bit different down there

-71 [+ / -] Mar 16, 2009

Stoned Kid: Ya know what's a nice place? New Zealand, and they're weathering this storm pretty well. I mean, all they do is fuck sheep. If it came down to choosing between nuclear holocaust and fucking sheep, I'm totally fucking the sheep.

Oh noes teh appartments

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unless of course they're heroin muffins

136 [+ / -] Mar 16, 2009

Professor: Really the only thing that grows in Afghanistan is poppies. And there are only three things you can do with poppies - make poppy seed bagels, poppy seed muffins, and make heroin. And you aren't going to make a lot of money from the muffins.

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he meant top-money, not your favorite

-43 [+ / -] Mar 15, 2009

Guy 1: Oil!

Girl: Cars!

Guy 2: Marijuana!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Economics Teacher: What's the top import in the United States?

Guy 1: Oil!

Girl: Cars!

Guy 2: Marijuana!

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so that's the secret ingredient

91 [+ / -] Mar 02, 2009

Stoner Guy 1: Dude, popcorn would be awesome right now.

Stoner Guy 2: No dude, pizza would be good right now.

Stoner Girl: Neither. Penis would be good right now.

Stoner Guys: (looking at each other) What?!

Stoner Girl: (pretending nothing happened) Yeah, let's order Gumby's.

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Girl 2: You hear voices when you're stoned?

Girl 1: Yeah! They just chat! It's like being at a little party!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

they have drugs for that, too

71 [+ / -] Feb 22, 2009

Girl 1: You know, I don't like being alone. It scares me. Except when I smoke pot, 'cause then I hear voices and I'm not lonely.

Girl 2: You hear voices when you're stoned?

Girl 1: Yeah! They just chat! It's like being at a little party!

Bus

anonymous

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performing in a circus tent or holding it up, but we're not sure which

-48 [+ / -] Feb 09, 2009

(Guy 2 simply looks and shrugs)' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Guy 1: Dude, I just took four Viagra. What's that gonna do to me?

(Guy 2 simply looks and shrugs)

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02/09/2009, 7:44 PM

haha said...

if you take too much Viagra, I would imagine that you would actually have a heart attack or something like it. Having an erection would be the least of your worries.

Reply

02/10/2009, 11:07 AM

Not a doctor said...

More than likely it would just make him dizzy. Viagra widens the blood vessels and therefore drops your blood pressure.
Viagra is actually used to treat pulmonary hypertension, where patients take up to 180mg of viagra a day.

Reply

02/11/2009, 10:16 PM

haha said...

too much blood pressure medicine will lower your blood pressure to such a degree where blood doesn't move as it should. Imagine a conventional straw vs.... a cylinder with a 2 in diameter. Not enough pressure = not enough blood pumping. Not enough pumping yields heart failure or stroke. Although this bright individual took four, he won't have any problems except a hard on that won't go away. key word from last comment "too much" learn to read.

Reply

02/09/2009, 9:55 PM

slow said...

she must have been really ugly if he thought he would have to take 4 lol

Reply

02/10/2009, 11:49 AM

Brookelyn said...

Ahhhhhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

Reply

he's a bit unclear on the other half of the word

70 [+ / -] Jan 08, 2009

Fratty 2: What do you mean they make your butt itch?

Fratty 1: The pharmacist said they're analgesics.

Fratty 2: Do you know what that means?

Fratty 1: I know what anal means.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Fratty 1: I don't like percocets. They don't work and they make my butt itch.

Fratty 2: What do you mean they make your butt itch?

Fratty 1: The pharmacist said they're analgesics.

Fratty 2: Do you know what that means?

Fratty 1: I know what anal means.

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now, back to our discussion about the size of uranus...

548 [+ / -] Dec 24, 2008

Student: So where does Europium come from?

Chemistry Teacher: (slowly) I don't have any opium...

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Father: (eavesdropping, to daughter) So, um, do you have any studying to do?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

yeah, with that girl over there

34 [+ / -] Dec 15, 2008

Girl: (to friend) So I'm just gonna like take some Adderall, study like fucking hell, and stay up all night until I pass out.

Father: (eavesdropping, to daughter) So, um, do you have any studying to do?

Elevator at Brumby Hall

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black people burn like hell

-17 [+ / -] Dec 14, 2008

Guy 1: Dude, it still burns!

Guy 2: That is the last time I put anything up my nose that isn't white.

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i'm never eating at mcdonald's again

-29 [+ / -] Dec 12, 2008

Guy: Yeah, basically you just do an Internet thing to learn how to cook everything. Its an easy job. You can come in high all the time.

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during the commercials, of course

116 [+ / -] Dec 11, 2008

Girl 1: So how did that study session with that guy go last night?

Girl 2: I went to his place, he took a couple of hits off a huge bong, we fucked, and then watched the Boondock Saints.

Girl 1: Nice!

Girl 3: So when did you study?

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that's the last time i sign up for a class with dr. dre

14 [+ / -] Dec 08, 2008

(Professor is taking about a quiz application on Facebook)

Professor: Some of you will find that you might be higher than how high you think you are.

(laughter)

Professor: I meant the results on the quiz!

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sounds like a brain buster

11 [+ / -] Oct 22, 2008

Girl 1: I had no idea that cayenne pepper and ginseng had the same effects as Adderall... I need to go to the store.

Girl 2: Ew! Do you have to snort it? Wouldn't cayenne pepper hurt?

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it certainly gets around

-20 [+ / -] Oct 20, 2008

Kid on cell: So is this weed skank, or what?

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little johnny still loves the rock

155 [+ / -] Oct 19, 2008

(Mother and Son walk out of Best Buy where there is a booth set up for the D.A.R.E. program)

Lady at table: Have you heard about the D.A.R.E. program?

Mom: Yeah, and it didn't work.

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would you like to make it a fatty?

42 [+ / -] Oct 09, 2008

(Guy is talking on his cell phone standing in line ordering a wrap)

Guy on cell: Yeah, lemme get some cheese. Yeah dude, alright. So he only sells dimes and quarters, but it's real cheap. And some jalape�os. Okay, that's straight. We'll chill later. Just go buy some.

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to help with concentration during sex

-80 [+ / -] Oct 02, 2008

Girl 1: So I really need to go to the drug store.

Girl 2: Why?

Girl 1: I have to pick up my Adderall and birth control.

Ramsey

sleepyhead

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if it ain't broke...

-3 [+ / -] Sep 22, 2008

Hipster: I like Nyquil. But Nyquil with liquor in it? Kinda gross.

mall of georgia, buford.

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it's true what they say about too much of a good thing

26 [+ / -] Sep 17, 2008

(As he walks onto the elevator with a large cup of coffee)

Scenester: Adderall is killing my brain, dude... I can't even study.

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Outside of the Variety Playhouse in Little 5 points

he's working on his dissertation as we speak

39 [+ / -] Sep 10, 2008

Homeless Guy: Excuse me, can you spare some change for some psychedelic research?

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which is nothing to joke about

29 [+ / -] Jul 22, 2008

Guy: (dressed like The Joker) My Joker makeup is awesome! Except I had to take off my smile for now because I can't hit the bong with it on.

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Old man: Yeah, back in the day when I didn't need my blue pills.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

horrible mental image for the day? check.

99 [+ / -] Jul 21, 2008

Old woman: (referring to a dress in the juniors department) This is cute.

Old man: Is it a dress or a shirt?

Old woman: It's a babydoll dress. You know, like I used to wear.

Old man: Yeah, back in the day when I didn't need my blue pills.

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have you tried saving the environment... on weed?

42 [+ / -] Jul 21, 2008

Art instructor: Drugs!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

(On a tour of the new art building)

Art Instructor: And you can see that the graduate painting studios provide an excellent view of the "green roof."

Student: Oh, I wonder what's growing out there.

Art instructor: Drugs!

New Lamar Dodd Building

Brent Spotswood

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we've all been there

-13 [+ / -] Jun 12, 2008

(Two women standing outside a super market)

Woman: Open those cookies that we bought... so I can snort one.

HERE

D

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did you maybe lick one before class?

19 [+ / -] May 22, 2008

(Professor pulls up picture of frog on the overhead)

Professor: Man! Look at that frog! I'd totally lick that.

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Professor: (On phone, completely straight-faced) Two kilos.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

no wonder he's always so happy in class

191 [+ / -] May 19, 2008

(Professor's cell phone rings mid-lecture)

Professor: (On phone, completely straight-faced) Two kilos.

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Guy: Really? It might have been insulin.

Girl: Um, yeah, you have to refrigerate insulin.

Guy: I mean, what's the difference?

Girl: Seriously?

Guy: You laugh, but I'm the one filling your prescriptions.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

i think my opinion on healthcare reform just changed

12 [+ / -] May 19, 2008

Guy: We lost a lot of epi-pens because someone left them out of the fridge the other day.

Girl: You don't have to refrigerate epi-pens.

Guy: Really? It might have been insulin.

Girl: Um, yeah, you have to refrigerate insulin.

Guy: I mean, what's the difference?

Girl: Seriously?

Guy: You laugh, but I'm the one filling your prescriptions.

on the border

adrenaline junkie

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he said.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

not the sort of thing most people would admit to

2 [+ / -] May 17, 2008

Stoner 1: Hey, I wanna drag. Can I have a drag?

Stoner 2: Fine, just wrap your lips lightly around it when you suck.

Stoner 3: That's what he said.

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can you hear william wallace turning in his grave?

39 [+ / -] May 10, 2008

Sociology Instructor: (talking about ideas) Where is the only place that you truly have freedom?

Dude: Amsterdam?

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Graduation at the stadium

you should be happy... why aren't you smiling?

58 [+ / -] May 10, 2008

Girl 1: Ohmigod! Did I tell you what my parents are getting me for graduation? My first Botox injections!

Girl 2: Ohmigod! You are so lucky!

Whitney

Wtf?

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the other two things aren't nearly as fun

104 [+ / -] Apr 23, 2008

Professor: There were only two things that were burned during the 1960s. Does anyone know what those two things were?

Student: Pot?

Professor: Ok, three things then.

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that would explain the lack of appetite

242 [+ / -] Mar 31, 2008

Girl on Cell: So all I had for lunch was some Coke and a couple of Milky Way eggs that you gave me in the Easter basket.

(pause)

Girl on Cell: No mom, not cocaine. Coca Cola. I can't afford weed, much less cocaine.

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Stoner Dude 3: Hey, you have to work hard to have a day like that! You gotta put some serious effort in if you want to have a 3 blunt day!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

and they say marijuana decreases motivation

-62 [+ / -] Mar 28, 2008

Stoner Dude 1: Dude, I smoked 3 blunts today!

Stoner Dude 2: Man, I wish I could have days like that... I don't how you can afford to just sit around all day and do that.

Stoner Dude 3: Hey, you have to work hard to have a day like that! You gotta put some serious effort in if you want to have a 3 blunt day!

apt

Oobaloo

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better living through your sibling's chemistry

52 [+ / -] Mar 10, 2008

Friend 1: Hey!

Friend 2: Hey! Did you go jogging to wake up this morning?

Friend 1: No, I just took my little brothers last Adderall.

Campass

GaGirl1607 (15)

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Girl 2: Yeah, because hers was laced with heroin!

Girl 1: Yeah, like, rule number 1 - don't buy your rolls from some sketchy guy in Prague. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

rule #2: don't roll in the ga theatre bathroom

-25 [+ / -] Mar 06, 2008

Girl 1: She says she won't roll anymore because she hallucinated the last time.

Girl 2: Yeah, because hers was laced with heroin!

Girl 1: Yeah, like, rule number 1 - don't buy your rolls from some sketchy guy in Prague.

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i always seem to miss that aisle at the local hobby lobby

24 [+ / -] Mar 05, 2008

Sorostitute: Uh, why?

Fratty: Dunno, I feel like I need a hobby.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Fratty: So I'm thinking of experimenting with drugs this summer.

Sorostitute: Uh, why?

Fratty: Dunno, I feel like I need a hobby.

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warning: marijuana affects grammar skills

53 [+ / -] Mar 04, 2008

Dude 1: I gotta quit getting high all the time.

Dude 2: Why?

Dude 1: Drugs are like bad and stuff and drain bramage.

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Girl 2: I haven't taken any of that in forever.

Girl 1: I mean, I just don't know how I'm going to get through this week. ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

meanwhile, the dog has been cramming for exams all night

11 [+ / -] Feb 25, 2008

Girl 1: I can't believe my dog ate all my Adderall.

Girl 2: I haven't taken any of that in forever.

Girl 1: I mean, I just don't know how I'm going to get through this week.

SLC

anonymous

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Drunk Girl: We cant just get in a car with strangers!

Emory Guy: We're gonna get high!

Drunk Girl: Okay!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

remember kids, alcohol reduces your inhibitions

71 [+ / -] Feb 25, 2008

Emory Guy: (inside a car, yelling to two girls in the parking lot) Hey, we're going to a dance party, wanna come?

Drunk Girl: We cant just get in a car with strangers!

Emory Guy: We're gonna get high!

Drunk Girl: Okay!

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(Cop walks over and picks up the girl's purse)' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

her official charge was "too stupid to survive in the wild"

237 [+ / -] Feb 20, 2008

(Drunk Girl is getting arrested in front of her friends)

Drunk Girl: (turns to her friend) Mel, I have some cocaine in my purse... get rid of it. Don't tell the cops, though.

(Cop walks over and picks up the girl's purse)

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wrong guy, wrong store

-76 [+ / -] Feb 11, 2008

Guy 1: So, how much is an ounce of the Irish Creme?

Cashier: A dollar and sixty-five cents.

Guy 2: Wow, that must be nice.

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congratulations, you're hired

933 [+ / -] Feb 04, 2008

Management professor: If you suspected someone was smoking marijuana on the job, what would you look for?

Guy: Doritos?

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the first step is admitting you have a problem

97 [+ / -] Jan 03, 2008

Professor: Steroids have many side effects like a larger neck, larger forehead and small testicles.

Meathead: Um, is that reversible?

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speaking from experience...

-16 [+ / -] Dec 20, 2007

Townie guy: Have you ever smoked a cigarette in the rain? It's like rubbing your dick on concrete.

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Guy 2: Congratulations, man.

Guy 1: I know, I woke up this morning and thought, "shit what am I going to do now that I'm outta college?" And then I did the same I did in college... smoked a bowl and went back to bed.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

beats a career in plastics and an affair with anne bancroft

83 [+ / -] Dec 18, 2007

Guy 1: Shit, I can't believe I graduated last night!

Guy 2: Congratulations, man.

Guy 1: I know, I woke up this morning and thought, "shit what am I going to do now that I'm outta college?" And then I did the same I did in college... smoked a bowl and went back to bed.

Athens, ga.

Brad Womack

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if your attention span is shorter than a shooter, please get yourself spayed or neutered

62 [+ / -] Nov 30, 2007

Sorostitute : (on cell) I think I'm going to take an Adderall tonight so I can concentrate on my drinking. Do you want one too?

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Girl 2: What? I didn't think they made those.

Girl 1: Yes they do! (She holds up a pack of American Spirits) See, it says "addictive-free!"

Girl 2: Oh. Um. No, that says additive-free, not addictive-free.

Girl 1: Ohmigod! For, like, a year I thought that said "addictive-free!"' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

this just in, hippie cigarettes cause cancer AND stupidity

124 [+ / -] Nov 19, 2007

Girl 1: Man, I really want a cigarette.

Girl 2: Ok, go smoke one.

Girl 1: Well, its not like I'm addicted to them or anything. I got the non-addictive kind!

Girl 2: What? I didn't think they made those.

Girl 1: Yes they do! (She holds up a pack of American Spirits) See, it says "addictive-free!"

Girl 2: Oh. Um. No, that says additive-free, not addictive-free.

Girl 1: Ohmigod! For, like, a year I thought that said "addictive-free!"

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well, that saves him the work

78 [+ / -] Nov 05, 2007

Sorostitute 1: Can I have a sip of your drink?

Sorostitute 2: Yeah.

(Sorostitute 1 takes a sip)

Sorostitute 2: Haha! I rufied it!

Drunk fratty: You rufied your own drink?

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Sorostitute 2: No worries, just taking a sleeping pill when you're ready to go to bed.

Sorostitute 1: I don't know about that... mixing uppers and downers... I don't want to die.

Sorostitute 2: Everyone does it, you won't die. By the way, are you going downtown tonight?

Sorostitute 1: Oh yeah!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

no wonder the freshman have to take that drug class

55 [+ / -] Oct 31, 2007

Sorostitute 1: So, I have this Huge test tomorrow, but I really don't feel like popping an Adderall at 8pm.

Sorostitute 2: No worries, just taking a sleeping pill when you're ready to go to bed.

Sorostitute 1: I don't know about that... mixing uppers and downers... I don't want to die.

Sorostitute 2: Everyone does it, you won't die. By the way, are you going downtown tonight?

Sorostitute 1: Oh yeah!

the tanning bed

the smart sorority girl

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how else would you explain charleston?

58 [+ / -] Oct 25, 2007

Girl 1: Did you know that cocaine is legal in Colombia?

Girl 2: How is coke legal in South Carolina?!

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Twin girl 2: Well, mom didn't want us having sex... that didn't work either.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

if it weren't for the incest you probably wouldn't need the meds

50 [+ / -] Oct 25, 2007

Twin girl 1: Mom doesn't want us taking anxiety medicine, she doesn't want our happiness dependent on that.

Twin girl 2: Well, mom didn't want us having sex... that didn't work either.

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we want snow on christmas, not on our birthdays

47 [+ / -] Oct 18, 2007

Professor: Heroin!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Student: (to professor) I'm not going to know what to give you for your birthday if you don't tell me.

Professor: Heroin!

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its because everyone talks slower when you're high

0 [+ / -] Oct 18, 2007

Sorostitute 1: Ohmigod Emily, when you go to class high do you pay attention better?

Sorostitute 2: Ohmigod, yes

Sorostitute 1: Me too.

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Fratty 1: Man, she wants you! Can I try some?

Fratty 2: No! What am I suppose to do if I run out?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

i doubt that's why she wants you to come see her

74 [+ / -] Oct 11, 2007

Fratty 1: What, you took Viagra?!

Fratty 2: Yeah man, it's awesome! Even the sexy doctor from the health center said that I should come see her if I have a hard on for longer than 2 hours!

Fratty 1: Man, she wants you! Can I try some?

Fratty 2: No! What am I suppose to do if I run out?

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life, liberty, and the pursuit of... wait, what was i saying?

18 [+ / -] Oct 09, 2007

Professor: Back in colonial times, they would use hemp to make a lot of things, like paper. In fact, some copies of the Declaration and the Constitution were distributed on hemp.

Fratty: So like, you could, like smoke the Constitution? Cooooooool.

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you're the barry bonds of academia

42 [+ / -] Aug 03, 2007

Student: (looks at Adderall) Each one of those little balls is like another percentage point on my grade.

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it's never a bad time to talk to your kids about drugs

46 [+ / -] Jul 08, 2007

Little boy: Mama! Do you have drugs?

Mom (confused): No, no one has drugs, honey.

Little Boy 2: My pop does drugs.

Mom 2: But he's trying to quit.

Riverbend Pool

petite lovepony

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Sorostitute 2: Yes they do, I saw it on YouTube.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

a source topped in reliability only by oprah

58 [+ / -] Jun 18, 2007

(After a class discussion about meth use and race correlations)

Sorostitute 1: Black people don't do meth, do they?

Sorostitute 2: Yes they do, I saw it on YouTube.

sociology of drug and alcohol use

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Sober guy: Nintendo Wii...

Stoned guy: Fuck you man. Dammit, now I'm gonna starve and it's gonna be your fault, and you'll get the Wii. That was your plan all along, wasn't it?' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

drug awareness day: marijuana causes paranoia

35 [+ / -] May 17, 2007

Stoned guy: Man, I'm gonna be in poverty until I get my rebate check. Then I'll have money for food. And I'm not gonna spend it on anything else.

Sober guy: Nintendo Wii...

Stoned guy: Fuck you man. Dammit, now I'm gonna starve and it's gonna be your fault, and you'll get the Wii. That was your plan all along, wasn't it?

My Apartment

Kronos

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Stoned girl: I'm not going to tickle your pickle for a nickel!

Stoned guy: ...

Stoned girl: Damn, we got some mad rhymes!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

if only there was a stoner degree... oh wait it's called art

-16 [+ / -] May 15, 2007

Stoned girl: Does anyone have a nickel?

Stoned guy: I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

Stoned girl: I'm not going to tickle your pickle for a nickel!

Stoned guy: ...

Stoned girl: Damn, we got some mad rhymes!

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within a stall in girls bathroom, SLC 4th floor

she'd need adderall to pay attention for that long

94 [+ / -] May 03, 2007

Girl 2: Yeah, totally.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

Girl 1: Man, this Adderall is giving me some serious cottonmouth.

Girl 2: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Girl 1: I feel like I've been sucking dick for hours on end.

Girl 2: Yeah, totally.

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Guy 2: Well, it can't be any worse than smoking crack.

Guy 3: Good call, dude.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

this is why they switched from lead

-9 [+ / -] Apr 30, 2007

(Two guys are in the bathroom smoking pot, and have just unclogged their pipe with a pencil, which broke)

Guy 1: So... do you think that graphite'll be a problem? I mean I got a good hit.

Guy 2: Well, it can't be any worse than smoking crack.

Guy 3: Good call, dude.

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he certainly knows his rock and roll

116 [+ / -] Apr 20, 2007

History of Rock professor: My advice would be, If you're depressed, light up a bong and see what happens.

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Sorostitute 2: That stuff is so bad for you!

Sorostitute 1: Yeah, but I got it from the guy that gives me pot, so I thought he was reliable! ' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

if you can't trust him, who can you trust?

-9 [+ / -] Apr 01, 2007

Sorostitute 1: I'm never doing LSD again.

Sorostitute 2: That stuff is so bad for you!

Sorostitute 1: Yeah, but I got it from the guy that gives me pot, so I thought he was reliable!

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Drunk guy: Nope I'm fucked up and I ain't paid either, hippie!' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

and he was so close to a free pizza

53 [+ / -] Mar 21, 2007

Drunk guy: Hey... hey give me my pizza I have been waiting forever!

Pizza guy: What did you have, sir?

Drunk guy: The 7 sausage.

Pizza guy: (looks for his pizza) Sir, that's not even on the menu, are you high?

Drunk guy: Nope I'm fucked up and I ain't paid either, hippie!

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more like radiation

-27 [+ / -] Mar 16, 2007

Stoned chick: I can take you in small doses.

Drunk guy: Like heroin?

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think of the children

-61 [+ / -] Mar 06, 2007

Girl: So, the March of Dimes was asking how they should convince girls to get more niacin to prevent birth defects.

Guy: Telling college girls to take something to prevent birth defects will make them not want to take it.

Girl: Well, they were saying that about half of all pregnancies are unplanned.

Guy: Yeah, they should put it in Rohypnol instead.

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Student: Were you looking for something?

Sorostitute: All my friends have been buying Adderall for finals and I think they are sold out.' style='padding: none; margin: none;'>

you thought you were desperate for an A

160 [+ / -] Dec 16, 2006

(Sorostitute is staring at vending machine)

Sorostitute: (on cell phone) They don't have it, I've checked every floor.

Student: Were you looking for something?

Sorostitute: All my friends have been buying Adderall for finals and I think they are sold out.

Student Learning Center

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friends like that are hard to come by

96 [+ / -] Dec 08, 2006

Sorostitute on cell: Thats ok... I don't even remember my semi-formal. I just remember waking up and being all sweaty, and my heart was beating real fast, and I couldn't breath too good... so I went and asked my sorority sister what happened, and she said, "Oh... you were passing out at dinner... so we gave a handful of Adderall."

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