Quotes Filed Under "Drinking"


good thing they installed a revolving door at the jail

16 [+ / -]     Jun 25, 2009

    (Walking away from Buddha Bar to a car)



    Drunk guy: Man, tonight was great!



    Sober guy: You better watch out, they are running a road block down the road.



    Drunk guy: Man, I can't go to jail, my PO would be pissed as hell at me!

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and the worst part of all... he spilled ketchup on his shirt at dinner

6 [+ / -]     Jun 21, 2009

    Prior to passing out, this guy not only threw up all over himself, but he also peed his pants.

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athens, home of the minor in possession

45 [+ / -]     May 31, 2009

    Training for college.

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sam adams the study buddy

3 [+ / -]     May 13, 2009

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i went out and got horsefaced last night

46 [+ / -]     May 04, 2009

    Horse head drinking bear.

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i must be going to the wrong parties

158 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2009

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those wily gator fans...

217 [+ / -]     Apr 25, 2009

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well, we know what she gave up for lent

-70 [+ / -]     Apr 13, 2009

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point / counterpoint

135 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2009

    (Drunk Guy and Drunk Girl making out at party)



    Drunk Girl: I think it would probably be best if we stopped.



    Drunk Guy: I think it would be best if you gave me head.

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so, none of the above

7 [+ / -]     Mar 24, 2009

    Drunk Girl: Um, can I like, get a taco please?



    Cashier: Sure. What kind would you like? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?



    Drunk Girl: Um, like, meat, I guess?



    Cashier: Well, what kind of meat? Steak, chicken, or chorizo?



    Drunk Girl: Um, you know, like that stuff that comes on tacos at Taco Bell?

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binge or binge not. there is no sip.

71 [+ / -]     Mar 22, 2009

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why not both?

-17 [+ / -]     Mar 20, 2009

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or he could be a turfgrass management major

102 [+ / -]     Mar 18, 2009

    Drunk Guy 1: What class do you have at nine?



    Drunk Guy 2: Fire ants.



    Drunk Guy 1: What?



    Drunk Guy 3: I assume he meant finance.

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in this case, it wasn't worth a shot

107 [+ / -]     Mar 06, 2009

    Drunk Girl: (to Guy) Hey, I need to get laid tonight. Will you buy me a shot?



    (Guy and Drunk Girl take a shot)



    Drunk Girl: Okay, thanks!



    (Drunk Girl walks away)

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that's what you get for partying at officemax

15 [+ / -]     Feb 24, 2009

    guy passed out on the couch at transmet after the bama game.

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remember that time when we were all breathing?

124 [+ / -]     Feb 19, 2009

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its sad when even professors think thursday is the weekend

78 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

    Professor: It's referring to how the different organs in your body perform different functions. Your heart pumps blood and your liver helps you recover from Thursday night.

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is it friday night already?

31 [+ / -]     Jan 23, 2009

    (After a failed keg stand)



    Guy 1: You have to put it all the way in your mouth!



    Guy 2: Only if you're pumping it while I do it!

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"stay in school" apparently doesn't count

-71 [+ / -]     Jan 17, 2009

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there's no place like home, there's no place like home...

-50 [+ / -]     Jan 08, 2009

    Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! What are you doing in Athens?!



    (Pause)



    Sober Guy: I live here.



    Drunk Girl: Ohmigod! Me too!

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he's the worst stalker ever

-56 [+ / -]     Dec 21, 2008

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keychain breathalyzers are great stocking stuffers

91 [+ / -]     Dec 19, 2008

    Drunk Guy 1: You cool to drive?



    Drunk Guy 2: Yeah, unless I get pulled over.

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good thing they weren't using the blender for margaritas

22 [+ / -]     Dec 04, 2008

    Girl: You were ridiculous last night. You were hitting on everyone.



    Guy: I know, I was so drunk last night I would have stuck my dick in anything.

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alcohol significantly affects pattern recognition

151 [+ / -]     Nov 11, 2008

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though his sense of humor sounds far from it

98 [+ / -]     Oct 26, 2008

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that's the other kind of free ride

57 [+ / -]     Oct 24, 2008

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giving new meaning to driving on fumes

80 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2008

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and the superlative for "take home to mom" goes to...

105 [+ / -]     Sep 23, 2008

    Drunk Girl: I feel so trashy right now!



    Guy: I mean, you did just flash two construction workers.

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if it ain't broke...

-4 [+ / -]     Sep 22, 2008

    Hipster: I like Nyquil. But Nyquil with liquor in it? Kinda gross.

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she pays for med school the old-fashioned way

86 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

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the limit as age goes to zero is... wait, where's my drink?

-31 [+ / -]     Sep 20, 2008

    Drunk sorostitute: I learn so much at college!



    Drunk fratty: Like... calc?



    Drunk sorostitute: No, like did you know before a baby is born, it's zero years old?

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there's nothing better than a bus with it's own full bar

103 [+ / -]     Sep 12, 2008

    Passenger: Want a beer?



    Driver: No thanks.



    Passenger: Shot of something?



    Driver: I am driving a 40,000 pound bus, no thanks.

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damn, i must have left it in my other overalls

142 [+ / -]     Sep 10, 2008

    6-year-old boy: Can I have something to drink?



    Bartender: May I see some ID first?

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observe the humble wallflorius athenius in her natural environment

42 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

    Nothing like a crazy night on the town to get you pumped!

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nothing like an existential crisis on your birthday

53 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

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maybe that's just what he drank on the trip

114 [+ / -]     Sep 09, 2008

    Georgia Mom: So, my son came home with a whole bunch of recycling in the back of his truck.



    (pauses)



    Georgia Mom: It was all beer bottles, but at least he's recycling.

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which resulted in that infamous sliding glass door incident

61 [+ / -]     Sep 04, 2008

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that is definitely on the list of warning signs

66 [+ / -]     Sep 03, 2008

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good friends will never lie to you

165 [+ / -]     Sep 02, 2008

    Drunk Girl 1: Look, I drank so much downtown that my stomach is poking out in my dress!



    Drunk Girl 2: Your stomach was poking out well before we went downtown.