Quotes Filed Under "Dorm life"


she really has taken over the world

18 [+ / -]     Jun 03, 2009

    Oprah's face superimposed on Soulja Boy's body in Russell Hall.

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better safe than stupid

111 [+ / -]     May 05, 2009

    Sorostitute: I went the hospital last night.



    Friend: Oh my God, why!?



    Sorostitute: Well, at like 3:00 AM I ate a bunch of food and looked up diabetes on the Internet and I thought I had it, so I called an ambulance. But they said I'm good.

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performing in a circus tent or holding it up, but we're not sure which

-47 [+ / -]     Feb 09, 2009

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her MRS degree is a double major

95 [+ / -]     Feb 04, 2009

    Sorostitute 1: Oh, what, so you believe in more than one god?



    Sorostitute 2: Yeah, I'm a polygamist!

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he's the worst stalker ever

-56 [+ / -]     Dec 21, 2008

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yeah, with that girl over there

35 [+ / -]     Dec 15, 2008

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queue the porn music

33 [+ / -]     Dec 03, 2008

    (Two girls in different shower stalls talking)



    Girl 1: Are you still in the shower?



    Girl 2: Yeah.



    Girl 1: What are you doing in there?



    Girl 2: Just standing.



    Girl 1: Me too!

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don't get snippy with me, mon

172 [+ / -]     Nov 21, 2008

    Girl: So, are you going home to Jamaica over Christmas break?



    Jamaican Guy: No, my father and I are going to get naturalized next month!



    Girl: (cringing, looking at Jamaican Guy's crotch) Won't that... hurt?

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because i was wondering if you could give me his number

80 [+ / -]     Nov 18, 2008

    Sorostitute: (to roommate) So, you still dating that guy I hooked up with?

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everyone surrenders to passion

-57 [+ / -]     Nov 14, 2008

    Guy 1: Never ever ever have I masturbated.



    Guy 2: Dude, you're lying.

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with a side of tiger and bear. oh my.

64 [+ / -]     Nov 12, 2008

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this moment brought to you by tara reid

28 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2008

    Sorostitute 1: Aw, sweetie your boob is showing.



    Sorostitute 2: Nuh-uh!



    (Sorostitute 2 looks down at exposed breast)



    Sorostitute 2: Ha, no way!

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only 15 in a school zone

-30 [+ / -]     Nov 08, 2008

    Girl: Hold on! Let me go get my goggles. I heard that cum comes out at 20 miles per hour.

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that's what you get for mouthing off

35 [+ / -]     Oct 26, 2008

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getting locked out of your dorm isn't all bad

99 [+ / -]     Oct 14, 2008

    (In Creswell hallway)



    Sorostitute: Wow! Cute dress! Where are you going?



    Girl: Um, this is a towel wrap.

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sticking her in that home had nothing to do with it

8 [+ / -]     Sep 26, 2008

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what a short trip! these buses rock!

124 [+ / -]     Aug 21, 2008

    Freshman: Does this go to Russell Hall?



    Bus Driver: Yup, and you're here! (closes doors)

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the other half of him is in the next dryer

20 [+ / -]     Jul 10, 2008

    My friend in the a dryer at Russell... just to see if he could.

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those newfangled mind reading elevators are much cooler

77 [+ / -]     Jun 10, 2008

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not the sort of thing most people would admit to

2 [+ / -]     May 17, 2008

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damn it feels good to be a gangster

39 [+ / -]     May 13, 2008

    This is what happens to printers that stop working when I have to print an important paper.

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proof that our ancestors flung poo

25 [+ / -]     May 12, 2008

    Wondering what to do with that loft now that you're moving out of the dorm? How about a trebuchet?

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and where the hell did i put that map?

33 [+ / -]     May 09, 2008

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half way done

56 [+ / -]     May 07, 2008

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and this year's miss congeniality is...

73 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2008

    Girl 1: (to Girl 2) Please don't cry. You are already ugly when you aren't crying.

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when done right no can defend

-24 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

    Drunken karate chop / kick!!

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"...you're sure we're going to a costume party, right guys?"

35 [+ / -]     Apr 28, 2008

    Proof that an honors magnet dorm is intended to keep them from the general public.

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i'm so glad we decided to go to peer counseling!

109 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2008

    Girl 1: Why do guys only ever want to be my friend?



    Girl 2: Well, guys only ever want to hook up with me and then never have anything more.



    Girl 3: You should put out more, you should put out less. Problem solved.

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although it might not be the primary cause

109 [+ / -]     Apr 10, 2008

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if by cooler you mean "like you have a speech impediment"

-76 [+ / -]     Apr 07, 2008

    Freshman Girl 1: So, do you guys want to go kick it at Bourb tonight?



    Freshman Girl 2: Bourb? As is Bourbon Street?



    Freshman Girl 1: Yeah. It sounds cooler when you call it Bourb.

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it must be hard studying geography when you're from another planet

76 [+ / -]     Apr 07, 2008

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and jill came tumbling after

83 [+ / -]     Apr 01, 2008

    Girl 1: Why does water run downhill?



    Girl 2: Gravity.



    Girl 1: Yeah, but there's gravity at the top of the hill too, isn't there?

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must be why you never see sorority girls wearing helmets

182 [+ / -]     Mar 28, 2008

    Girl 1: Man I wish I had boobs, this is pathetic.



    Girl 2: Well, if you started wearing a bra it could help.



    Girl 1: Would a child with no feet wear shoes? I don't think so.

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imagine the odds

-99 [+ / -]     Mar 27, 2008

    Drunk Fratty 1: Where do you live?



    Sorostitute: I live in Brumby.



    Drunk Fratty 2: Hey! I know somebody that lives in Brumby!

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a new definition of peer review

-25 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2008

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sure as hell beats the muzak

214 [+ / -]     Mar 25, 2008

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we're sure he's the first to think of this one

-26 [+ / -]     Feb 29, 2008

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"...if only i could get out of this elevator with the doors still closed"

117 [+ / -]     Feb 25, 2008

    (On an elevator with three other people)



    Dude 1: So, you remember that girl Julie from the other night?



    Dude 2: Yeah.



    Dude 1: We were in my room and she started pulling down my zipper, and then it got stuck.



    Dude 2: (whispers) Dude, can you wait five minutes?



    Dude 1: Talk about the biggest cock block ever. I had to squeeze out of my pants with the zipper still up.

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that's about as funny as a razor to the nads

-9 [+ / -]     Feb 22, 2008

    Dude 1: So man, I went to Target today and got the new Mach razor.



    Dude 2: Cool.



    Dude 1: Ya know, the Mach 3. I tried it out on my balls... really smooth.

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divorce is just one small step for man

72 [+ / -]     Feb 12, 2008

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"...some guy named wikipedia"

93 [+ / -]     Dec 02, 2007

    Girl 1: What are you working on?



    Girl 2: A bibliography.



    Girl 1: Oh, really? On who?

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good luck facebooking that one

169 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2007

    Fratty: Where were you? We lost you last night.



    Sorostitute: Yeah, sorry, I ended up shacking with this guy named Reed.



    Fratty: Well where were you?



    Sorostitute: I don't know, all I know is that his name is Reed Hall.

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how many points do you get for a boyfriend?

-16 [+ / -]     Oct 19, 2007

    Sober girl: Oh my God, you almost killed your boyfriend!



    Tipsy girl: Hey! It was my car that hit him!



    Sober girl: But you were driving it!

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better try the pony express

95 [+ / -]     Oct 18, 2007

    Guy 1: Hey! Dan left his phone in my room!



    Guy 2: Should we call him and tell him?

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remember molly, drugs are bad

127 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2007

    Girl 1: Oh my god, are there two of you?!



    Girl 2: Huh?



    Girl 1: Do you have a twin?



    Girl 2: What are you talking about?



    Girl 1: I just saw a girl that looked just like you, but she was wearing something different.



    Girl 2: Molly, I changed clothes!

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fire the math tutor

34 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2007

    Guy: Wow, that was a great 86 yard run.



    Girl: 86 yards, how many miles is that?

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why not just go in reverse to get them off?

118 [+ / -]     Sep 30, 2007

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sit down, this could take a while

75 [+ / -]     Aug 09, 2007

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one means significantly less dates

-45 [+ / -]     Jun 14, 2007

    (Two guys throwing a baseball)



    Guy 1: I was thinking man, maybe we should switch to a softball.



    Guy 2: What's the difference?

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its cured by pregnancy... hop to it.

73 [+ / -]     Jun 01, 2007

    Girl on cell: Ohmigod, you have Chlamydia?! Wait, that is one you can cure with medicine right? Oh, then no big deal.

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seriously, in the pejorative.

-17 [+ / -]     May 31, 2007

    Guy: (running towards bathroom) My ass is about to explode!



    Passerby: Gay!

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gentlemen, the ladies of mary lyndon need you

-11 [+ / -]     May 10, 2007

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when they couldn't find it, they followed the path of the underground railroad

88 [+ / -]     Apr 30, 2007

    Sorostitute: Is that the North Star?



    Fratty: Yeah, I think so.



    Sorostitute: Oh my god, how did the slaves follow that to freedom?

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jesus was an alchy too!

-28 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2007

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yes, inhabited primarily by playboy playmates

-93 [+ / -]     Apr 23, 2007

    (Two sorostitutes walking up stairs in Creswell)



    Sorostitute 1: Whats the penthouse?



    Sorostitute 2: What?



    Sorostitute 1: The sign says basement to penthouse...



    Sorostitute 2: Oh, thats like the top I think



    Sorostitute 1: Is there anything even up there?



    Sorostitute 2: Well yeah, the top.



    Sorostitute 1: Well duh! I know what the word is! But are there rooms?

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she was a polished rock in a past life

41 [+ / -]     Apr 22, 2007

    Sorostitute 1: I feel really clean today!



    Sorostitute 2: Why?



    Sorostitute 1: I was completely wasted when I got in last night, but I just had to take a shower! I fell asleep, and when I woke up this morning, the water was still running!

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