Quotes Filed Under "Dining hall"


understanding temperature is not one of them

-57 [+ / -]     Mar 09, 2009

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mount up!

103 [+ / -]     Feb 18, 2009

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looks like the ventriloquism classes are going well

176 [+ / -]     Nov 20, 2008

    Guy: I give hugs for free!



    Girl 1: (loudly) Well I give sexual favors for hugs!



    Girl 2: (at next table) What? No, Mom! That wasn't me talking!

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dirty hands and a dirty mouth

-126 [+ / -]     Nov 19, 2008

    (Student is reaching for cookies using his hands)



    Dining hall lady: Use those tongs, use those tongs now.



    Student: Fuck off.

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and in a sexual way, wanna screw?

73 [+ / -]     Nov 07, 2008

    (During a midnight Snelling run)



    Gay guy: (to straight guy) In a completely nonsexual way, I'll eat your sausage.

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would you like to make it a fatty?

42 [+ / -]     Oct 09, 2008

    (Guy is talking on his cell phone standing in line ordering a wrap)



    Guy on cell: Yeah, lemme get some cheese. Yeah dude, alright. So he only sells dimes and quarters, but it's real cheap. And some jalapeños. Okay, that's straight. We'll chill later. Just go buy some.

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she's counting herself twice, which leaves two people

60 [+ / -]     Oct 03, 2008

    Sorostitute 1: You have way too many guys. How many people are in love with you?



    Sorostitute 2: Including me? Four.

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neither... one just moved

-37 [+ / -]     Sep 12, 2008

    Sorostitute: In the black cherry ice cream, are those black things cherries or chocolate?

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someone should tell him the camo doesn't really help him blend in

24 [+ / -]     May 29, 2008

    A giant blood droplet is scaring people into giving blood in front of Snelling Dining Commons

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they go straight for the whipped cream

-30 [+ / -]     May 26, 2008

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clearly, the cold war is not over

-44 [+ / -]     May 10, 2008

    Guy 1: Our two high school counites are rivals.



    Guy 2: Really, why?



    Guy 1: Because we beat you guys every year.



    Guy 2: Yeah, but why do we have to fight?



    Guy 1: I mean, why do North Korea and South Korea fight?



    Guy 1: Because North Korea overtook South Korea.



    Guy 2 : That has nothing to do with counties



    Guy 1: Yes it does, it explains everything.

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talk about an impacted colon

136 [+ / -]     Apr 29, 2008

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this might be the next tom cruise movie

157 [+ / -]     Apr 17, 2008

    Ice Cream Guy: Do you want the cone or the show?



    Girl: The show!



    (Ice Cream Guy scoops ice cream, throws it ten feet in the air, catches it perfectly in cone, and hands it to her)



    Girl: God, I love college!

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"...i thought i didn't smell something"

35 [+ / -]     Apr 08, 2008

    Sorostitute 1: Your hair looks nice today. Did you do something different?



    Sorostitute 2: I washed it.



    Sorostitute 1: Oooh. That's new.

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finally... the tables have turned

296 [+ / -]     Mar 29, 2008

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and you're friend has been dieting wrong

264 [+ / -]     Feb 03, 2008

    Sorostitute 1: So how the hell are you?



    Sorostitute 2: Well, you know what they say... same shit, different color.



    Sorostitute 1: Oh wow, all these years I've been saying that wrong.

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with a side of moron

72 [+ / -]     Nov 14, 2007

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and your ass for a hat

704 [+ / -]     Nov 09, 2007

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i'm not sure we all understand the problem

100 [+ / -]     Oct 23, 2007

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stacy's mom has got it goin' on

89 [+ / -]     Oct 16, 2007

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its their world... we just live in it

56 [+ / -]     Aug 30, 2007

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like the beginning of that kubrick movie

-56 [+ / -]     Aug 28, 2007

    (Two guys are standing in line for pizza)



    Freshman fratty: Dude!



    Older guy: Yeah?



    Freshman fratty: You know the coolest thing about this pizza? They put the pizza in one end, and it comes out the other end already cooked!

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jessica simpson would be so proud

160 [+ / -]     May 08, 2007

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money well spent

64 [+ / -]     May 02, 2007

    Girl 1: What has everyone learned in college?



    Guy 1: How to make termites run in a circle.



    Girl 2: How to stretch my liver.



    Guy 2: I don't need a liver.

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I don't remember soap, it was all water...

45 [+ / -]     Apr 27, 2007

    Guy: So if nothing happened, what did happen?



    Girl: Not saying, but he drunk dialed me the other night.



    Guy: Then he probably thought that though nothing happened, there was the possibility of something happening.



    Girl: But, I mean, nothing happened. We just got out of the shower... uuuhh.



    Guy: Yeah, right, because showering together is nothing. Got it.

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for kids 12 and up

43 [+ / -]     Apr 21, 2007

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i wonder if the pun was intentional

-24 [+ / -]     Mar 26, 2007

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her name must be simile

36 [+ / -]     Mar 16, 2007

    Girl on phone: So like, in class it's like, no one will like, say anything like, smart, you know?

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but not everyone inhales

37 [+ / -]     Mar 01, 2007

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you know, on the floor...

47 [+ / -]     Apr 05, 2006

    Girl on cell: (trying to describe which table she is at) No, no, no, we're under the ceiling.

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